


Oh, Oh Those Summer Nights

by zarchomp



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alcohol, Camping, Cigarettes, Coming of Age, First years as third years, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Slow Burn, Underage Drinking, first years being SOFT together, no hate on kurotsukki tho, not tryin 2 romanticise smokin tho, they're jsut TEEN BOYS doing things i did as a teen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-22
Updated: 2020-10-21
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:33:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 23,928
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23256238
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zarchomp/pseuds/zarchomp
Summary: “You know how Hinata keeps talking about how he wants to make this year special?” Tsukki looked over at him, “Well, I do too. I don’t know that might be cheesy or something, but this year is different. We’ve both changed a lot since we met, and I think this year is when we put that to use. We’re both a lot more mature than we used to be, and I think I want to be able to let go sometimes now. Like Hinata, dancing with a random girl. But not quite that. Tsukki, your friendship is the most important thing in the world to me, and I really truly want to make the most out of this year, together. I want to go to parties and get drunk and spend this year having fun. I know we’re supposed to be responsible, and I really want to be, but I think we should take advantage of our freedom this year, too. I don’t know what I want to happen, but I couldn’t say no to something amazing.”Tadashi closed his eyes, hoping what he said wasn’t too much for Tsukki, or too cheesy, or too anything really.After a brief pause, Tsukki spoke, “I’m going to make this year amazing for you, Tadashi.”“Tadashi, huh?”“If that works”.“Sure, Kei”.[on pause for the time being, but i will come back to it soon !! :)]
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Past Kuroo Tetsurou/Tsukishima Kei - Relationship, Tsukishima Kei/Yamaguchi Tadashi
Comments: 9
Kudos: 39





	1. An Absolute Rager

Tadashi stood in front of a door. Tsukki looked over at him, as if to double check that he was certain they wanted to go. They’d been invited to this party by Tanaka, and agreed to go because Tadashi felt bad Hinata wouldn’t get to go without them. The party wasn’t actually hosted by anyone in high school, so no one at Karasuno felt okay going by themselves, and Kageyama was going to dinner tonight for his father’s birthday. So, since Hinata wouldn’t be able to drag Kageyama here, Tadashi offered to go with him, so of course Tsukki had to come.

Since starting their last year of high school, Tsukki’s been more laid back. He helped the first and second years a lot during practices. It was cool to see his friend like this. The Tsukki who once had only existed around him was becoming more open. Of course, he still got in jabs at his teammates constantly, but there was a foundation of respect that didn’t exist before, certainly not in their first year. And, as much as Tsukki only said he was at this party because Tadashi was, he knew he eventually would have offered to come with Hinata too.

Suddenly, the door whipped open, and two guys bolted out of the house, accompanied by roughly a dozen people who came out to watch whatever was going on. The guys were probably three or four years older than them, one tall brunet, and one average height guy with incredibly dark hair. They pulled out a lighter, and tried to set the brunets shirt on fire. Overwhelmed by the sudden crowd outside, Tadashi took this opportunity to sneak inside, Tsukki following behind him.

The party was a lot more crowded than he expected. On his right, he saw what he guessed was a dance floor, where people were completely letting themselves go. There was one girl whose hair was down and messy, though he could see she had pins in her hair which had kept her hair up earlier in the day. Now though, she looked a lot freer than most girls he knew. As if some type of pressure had been lifted. Her shirt was crooked on her body, and her skirt seemed to be pulled up higher on her waist than necessary. There was a run in her stockings and a couple stains on her shoe, but she didn’t seem to mind. Next to her was a couple. They were holding each other tight and swaying slowly. The music was loud and upbeat, but these two seemed too caught up in each other to care whether or not their dancing matched the song. The three of them, the girl and the couple, they weren’t troubled by anyone around them, or by whatever they had to do the next day, or by themselves. Tadashi envied them.

Through the mess of people, Tadashi saw a clear path to a spot that would allow him room to breathe. He followed the path quickly, needing to get out of the crowd. By the time he finished walking, he found himself in the kitchen, and finally turned around to talk to Tsukki.

“It’s your first party Tsukki!”

“Wrong, I went to the party at Kuroo’s house with you last year”, said Tsukki.

“Yeah but it doesn’t count if you left after forty minutes. Plus, you don’t have to worry about your boyfriend almost cheating on you this time!”

“I guess you’re right” Tsukki said with a smile. Tsukki and Kuroo’s relationship was weird. Tsukki agreed to go on a date with him after getting in a fight with Tadashi about all his confessions. Still, Tsukki had liked him a lot. He was the only other person who had ever made Tsukki smile genuinely, at least as far as Tadashi’s seen. They never quite fell into place as a couple, so when Tsukki saw Kuroo dancing with his friends, although he claims he thought his boyfriend was trying to sleep with one of them, Tadashi knew that Tsukki used it as a way to break up with him. That was over now though, and this party was about saving Hinata from weird older kids.

“Tsukki have you heard from Hinata? He was planning on getting here before us”

“I don’t think I would have heard from him if you haven’t” Tsukki replied.

“Fair. Do you want a drink?” Tadashi asked.

“I saw some beers over in the last room. I’ll grab you one.” Tsukki answered, and he left.

Tadashi pulled out his phone to see if Hinata had texted him yet. Still nothing. He turned on the vibrate on his phone and put it in his pocket, waiting for Tsukki to come back. Tadashi wasn’t the most social person, and he certainly wasn’t going to talk to anyone he hadn’t met before at this party. It was thrown by a girl in her second year at university who Tanaka worked with. Tanaka was certain to be there, and he’d told them that Nishinoya might come too. Hinata really wanted to go, because he wanted this to be his year so badly. Hinata and Kageyama were best friends, though Tsukki was sure there was more to it than that. But Hinata and Kageyama had some sort of special bond, like they’d always meant to be together. Hinata had told Tadashi that he was sure Kageyama ending up at the same high school as him was fate. They made each other better, in pretty much every way. Sure, they were both amazing volleyball players, and they had each other to thank for that, but they were also great teammates and friends to each other and to everyone around them. They’d grown and changed together over the past few years in the same way Tsukki and Tadashi had done for years.

“Here you go,” Tsukki said, starling Tadashi. Tsukki handed him a bottle of beer. “I opened it for you. I read that you should never take an opened drink at a party. So I wanted you to know that I opened it and not someone else.”

“My my, someone’s done his research” Tadashi said, taking a sip.

“It still tastes like piss”

“Yeah, I know your brother said it would only be that bad the first couple times, but Tsukki, it really hasn’t gotten any better. I mean if anything it’s gotten worse” Tadashi joked.

Tsukki smiled, “I’m not sure if beer has actually gotten worse, or if your brain has tricked you into hating it so much to the point that you couldn’t fathom liking it”

Tadashi smiled back at him, “You’re so smart Tsukki.”

“You’re smart too, Yamaguchi. I know I just used some psychology on you, but you could have figured that out on your own.” Last week, Tadashi had figured out their chemistry homework before Tsukki, and has felt rather proud since. He felt his phone vibrate in his pocket.

“Hinata just texted me. He’s lost.” Tadashi said.

“I guess since Kageyama couldn’t make it he’s our idiot tonight.” Tsukki said. Tadashi couldn’t tell if he had deliberately stressed the word ‘our’, but even if it was an accident, it made him happy to hear.

Tsukki followed Tadashi outside. They walked to the nearest intersection and checked down all the streets to find their friend. They walked around the whole block, checking down all the streets until they found him looking around confused.

“Hey! Hinata” called Tadashi. Hinata waved and started running over.

“How is it? Is it huge? I think it’s going to be crazy! I can’t imagine the types of crazy parties Tanaka-senpai’s friends would host!” Hinata rambled.

“Senpai? Still?” Tsukki asked, earning a nod from the ginger. “Okay. It’s nice to see you too Hinata”

“It is actually pretty crazy. When we got there two guys ran out trying to light each other on fire” Tadashi told him.

“What no way! I can’t believe I missed that! Why didn’t you tell me?”

“You’re the one who made us come, idiot. We thought you were already there!” Tsukki said.

“That’s okay! If something that crazy already happened, I can tell this is going to be a fun night.” Hinata said.

The three of them walked to the house, and entered the party. Immediately Hinata caught eye of the dance floor and begged his friends to dance with him.

“We’ll watch you from the side, like your parents” Tsukki said, eventually. Apparently that was all Hinata needed to hear, because he immediately ran to start dancing.

“Parents, huh?” Tadashi teased.

“If I were to coparent with anyone, it would be you” Tsukki explained.

“And why’s that? Oh I know! It’s because of that one time when we babysat Hinata’s sister and you had to take a break every fifteen minutes and you just let me take care of her, alone! Is that what type of household our child is going to grow up in. One filled with a distant father who actively neglects their kid? Is that the type of household you want our child to grow up in? And where does that leave me, providing half the income and all the childcare? That doesn’t seem like a proper way to treat me? My god Tsukki! Are you even going to help me buy them birthday presents? What about Christmas? Tsukki will you even help me paint the nursery for Christs sake!” Tadashi said, rather impassionedly.

“Shut up Yamaguchi” Tsukki said, smiling, a blush forming on his cheeks. “No, it’s because you’re the only one I could see myself spending that much time with on such an important project”.

“Heyy Tsukkishima! Yamaguchi! Glad you could make it. Looks like your ace is having fun.” Tadashi turned around to see Nishinoya, then turned again to see Hinata dancing with a beautiful girl with long, dark hair.

“I’m sure that wouldn’t be happening if Kageyama were here” Tsukki whispered to Tadashi, earning a chuckle.

“Nishinoya! This party’s pretty wild” said Tadashi.

“It sure is. Tanaka really has a way with planning parties. He threw one last year after we graduated, and I still don’t know who took my shirt.”

“How are you doing? How’s university!” asked Tadashi.

“It’s great, actually. I’m really overworked, but I’m still doing volleyball and keeping up with my coursework” Noya said, “It’s nice to have a break like this once in a while, though.”

Tadashi didn’t really understand how this could be relaxing to anyone, as he had spent the whole night so far hyperaware of his surroundings. Though, Noya always seemed to have more energy than him, so it made sense.

“You’re taking my position this year, Yams. What’s it like?”

“Vice-captain is actually really fun. Tsukki helps me out a lot, but I like overseeing a team, and helping Kageyama talk to the first years without sounding like an ass” Tadashi joked.

“I know what you mean. Tanaka is a little blunt sometimes” Noya said.

“I know I have a reputation for being a little… intimidating, but that guy’s on another level when he wants to be” Tsukki said.

“Tanaka may be scary, but you’re the only person who could intimidate someone on their physical and mental abilities, so I wouldn’t start thinking you’re not a great intimidator. Speaking of Tanaka though, have you guys seen him? I’ve been looking for him for a while.” said Noya.

“No, sorry. I’ll let you know if I do,” said Tadashi.

“Thanks. I would actually like to catch up later, so if I’m not completely sloshed, find me before you go.” Noya said.

“How many drinks have you had so far?” asked Tadashi, as Noya was leaving.

“Five”, he answered, and left.

“Yeah, we’re definitely not going to talk to him later”.

Tadashi looked over to see Hinata still on the dance floor, dancing with the same girl. The ginger turned around and saw them, before running over to them.

“That girl is super cute!” Hinata squealed, “If you guys want to leave this room that’s okay, but please don’t leave without me.”

“Of course, have fun,” said Tadashi, winking.

“Do you want to go outside?” asked Tsukki, and Tadashi nodded.

Tadashi walked to the back of the house to find the backyard. When he found it, he was greeted by smokers, mainly, but also a beautiful view of the trees that surrounded them. Him and Tsukki walked to the very edge of the yard, with the best view of the trees. When they got there, Tsukki offered him another beer.

“I didn’t open this one for you”

Tadashi smiled at him. Tsukki also lit a cigarette. Right before they started their third year, Tsukki’s brother, Atikeru, smoked a cigarette with them. Tadashi knew it was bad for him to smoke, but something about smoking when it was just with Tsukki felt nice. They talked, or enjoyed nice moments together, while they were smoking. As much as Tadashi loved Hinata and Kageyama, there was something intimate about his relationship with Tsukki that he wanted to keep between the two of them. Recently, they’d been thinking about a lot. They were applying to universities and had to figure out what they were doing with the rest of their lives. Tadashi was also the vice-captain of the volleyball club now, and Tsukki helped him a lot with his extra responsibilities. Things were changing.

“You know how Hinata keeps talking about how he wants to make this year special?” Tsukki looked over at him, “Well, I do too. I don’t know that might be cheesy or something, but this year is different. We’ve both changed a lot since we met, and I think this year is when we put that to use. We’re both a lot more mature than we used to be, and I think I want to be able to let go sometimes now. Like Hinata, dancing with a random girl. But not quite that. Tsukki, your friendship is the most important thing in the world to me, and I really truly want to make the most out of this year, together. I want to go to parties and get drunk and spend this year having fun. I know we’re supposed to be responsible, and I really want to be, but I think we should take advantage of our freedom this year, too. I don’t know what I want to happen, but I couldn’t say no to something amazing.”

Tadashi closed his eyes, hoping what he said wasn’t too much for Tsukki, or too cheesy, or too anything really.

After a brief pause, Tsukki spoke, “I’m going to make this year amazing for you, Tadashi.”

“Tadashi, huh”

“If that works”

“Sure, Kei”.

\---------------------------------------------

Tadashi didn’t go crazy at that party, or get super drunk, but he had fun. When he woke up he was expecting a headache, but to his surprise, or rather delight, it never came. He had plans to meet Tsukki, Hinata, and Kageyama for breakfast that morning, but Hinata rescheduled for lunch.

Tadashi looked to his right, and saw Tsukki sitting against his bed, reading. The book was about spiders. He remembers begging Tsukki the previous night to find out if he could realistically become Spiderman in the next ten years. He smiled to himself for a moment, watching his friend read, before he sat up in bed, letting Tsukki know he’s awake.

“So far no luck on the Spiderman front, sorry Tadashi”. He was initially shocked at the use of his first name, until he remembered that the night before they’d only called each other by their first names after the second drink.

“Keep me posted. We’re meeting them at 12:30, by the way” Tadashi said, exiting the room to shower.

When they got to the restaurant, the other two were already there, bickering about something Tadashi probably didn’t care about all that much.

“Tsukkishima! Yamaguchi! Do you think it would be cooler to go camping or hiking the first week of summer?” asked Hinata, excitedly.

“For you two?” Tsukki started, “definitely hiking, you need to work off all your energy”.

Kageyama instantly looked quite pleased with himself.

“No! I meant for the four of us. It would be lame for us to waste all that time hiking when we could do so many cool things at a campsite! Like we could go swimming and we wouldn’t have to worry about running out of food on our hike and it would be a lot more fun and we could get more beer whenever we wanted” Hinata said.

“Since when are we spending any of our summer with you dumbasses?” Tsukki said.

“Well Yams told me yesterday that he wanted to do something cool this summer so I thought it would be cool if we all went camping but Kageyama thinks we should go hiking ‘cause apparently that’s cooler”

“We should go camping, right Tsukki?” Tadashi said, mouthing ‘Kei’ at his friend.

“Camping is good”

“Fine,” said Kageyama, “But I’m going to make sure you all get exercise while we’re there”.

“How was dinner with your family yesterday?” Tadashi asked.

“Weird. We haven’t all sat down for dinner together in a few months. I’ve been spending all my time on volleyball recently, and their work has them busy, it’s weird.” Said Kageyama. Usually he wouldn’t elaborate on such a simple question. Kageyama has been Tadashi’s close friend for years, but he still never talks about things, not in depth, anyways. Recently, they’ve been spending more time together, working on the club, and Tadashi thinks they’ve gotten pretty close. Even so, Kageyama’s morning was always ‘fine’ or ‘good’. But it was never weird.

“You’ve always spent all your time on volleyball” quipped Tsukki.

Kageyama got visibly uncomfortable, and Hinata shot Tsukki a look.

“We’ll leave the first day of break; I’ll bring my volleyball net” said Kageyama.

“Tsukki’s brother is in Tokyo and left his car. We’ll ask if we can borrow it.”

“By the way, Yamaguchi, coach emailed me yesterday to tell me he booked a training camp for the end of the summer” Kageyama said.

“That’s awesome!” Tadashi said.

Hinata jumped up “I love training camp! What schools are we with? Nekoma? Furukodani? Aoba Josai? Date-“

“I don’t know yet, dumbass. He just said we were doing a training camp”

“Oh, cool”. Hinata didn’t sound half as enthusiastic as before, but he still had more energy than Tadashi, so at least he hadn’t completely changed his character.

Tadashi had school the next morning. Tadashi liked school, a lot actually. It was a place where he could meet all the goals he wanted to meet. He was vice captain of the volleyball club, had very good grades, and he had friends who liked him for who he was. Before and after school he had practice, then him and Tsukki studied together. It gave his life a good structure, and actually made him feel pretty safe. But he really wanted this week to end.

As soon as this week ended, him and his three closest friends would go camping together and have fun, then he’d spend the rest of the summer with them too. Mostly Tsukki, but all of them were going to be a part of it. He was going to have fun, and for once that didn’t scare him all that much. Tsukki told him he’d give him an amazing year, and Tadashi trusted him.

Before he went to sleep, Tadashi texted Tsukki to let him know he’d eat breakfast at his friend’s house in the morning. Usually it didn’t matter who’s house they had breakfast at, but Tadashi really didn’t feel like make eggs in the morning, and he knows Tsukki’s mom always makes him a plate, just in case.

When he woke up, he wanted to go to school even less than he had the night before.

He got ready and left his house to go to Tsukki’s. The walk to Tsukki’s house was always nice. It was actually a very beautiful walk, but more than that it always meant the beginning of something new, a new day, or a new fact to learn about birds or insects. His relationship with Tsukki has done nothing but grow stronger recently. Tsukki has always been softer around Tadashi, but recently he’s been more than soft. Maybe he felt the same thing Tadashi did; an urge to be better. Tsukki might not be great at one to one relationships, but he’s always been good at staying cool. Tadashi wants to do that. He wants to be able to walk into a room, confidently, and not know the crushing feeling of suddenly needing to be alone. He wants to be able to tell people what he thinks or how he feels. When Tsukki was dating Kuroo, Tsukki actually talked about it quite a bit, but Tadashi never got to know the guy personally all that well. He liked him, sure, but he barely talked to him. When the three of them were together it was fun, but Tadashi couldn’t talk to Tsukki the way he usually did. Though they were together for months, Tadashi never got to know him on a deeper level. He didn’t really like who he was around Kuroo. When he was with Tsukki, or even Hinata and Kageyama, he was confident, and quirky, and witty. And he really likes that version of himself. It’s the version of himself that feels the most real, so it feels stupid that only a handful of people have ever even seen that side of him.

When he got to Tsukki’s house the door was unlocked, so he went and sat down in the kitchen. He figured Tsukki would be down soon. The kitchen was beautiful, the whole house was, really. But the kitchen was this nice pale blue colour that felt so vibrant, and welcoming. Tadashi didn’t like pale colours. They often felt cold, and uninviting, and ridiculously pretentious. Maybe his love for Tsukki’s kitchen came from having spent so much time in it over the years, or maybe it really was just different.

“I hear you’re taking Atikeru’s car for a camping trip” Tsukki’s mom said, entering the room, “I hope you guys have fun”

“We will. And don’t you worry I’ll keep him out of trouble”

Tsukki’s mom chuckled. At this point, she was practically Tadashi’s second mom. He spent about as much time with her as he did with his own mom. She’d actually been there for him a lot throughout the years, and barely got mad at him that time he drank too much with Atikeru’s friends and threw up in her sink. Barely.

“Kei is up; he should be down soon. Do you want pancakes this morning?”

“I would love pancakes but we have practice this morning so I need some protein”

“You really have grown up. I remember when you were younger you’d come over and take any opportunity you could to eat something sweet”

“That was truly my prime” Tadashi said, earning a chuckle from behind him.

“Good morning Tadashi” Tsukki said, sitting next to him.

“Good morning Tsu- Kei” Tadashi said, smiling at him, “how was your evening?”

“Great. I read up on the site we’re camping at and compiled a list of the rarest birds they have there so we can keep watch for them”

“What if all the girls at school knew you were a huge dork; I’m sure Valentine’s Day wouldn’t be half as painful for you”

“I definitely wouldn’t complain” Tsukki said, as his mom served them eggs.

“Yeah, neither would I. Maybe then girls would talk to me about something other than you”

“Do you want a girlfriend?”

“No, but I wouldn’t mind the potential of having one”

“Trust me Tadashi, you certainly have that potential” Tsukki said, before starting to eat his breakfast.

Practice that morning was good. Tadashi did really love practices, which is the main reason he’s spent all of high school completely consumed by volleyball. It was about a lot more than the athleticism of it. At the beginning of high school, Tadashi was completely overwhelmed by volleyball club. All of a sudden, he was training hard, constantly, so that his team could go win some big things. He wasn’t even really on the team it seemed. But soon enough he got consumed by it. He became passionate about learning the jump float serve. But more than that, there was a team of people who supported him. They made him feel like he had more than one friend. Not only that, but meeting other teams, although scary, was really fun. The volleyball community was generally amicable, and there wasn’t a lot of bad blood. There was some, but not enough to really hurt anyone. Now, volleyball was his everything. All his friends were in the club, and he was vice captain, and most of the best memories of his life were at training camps, or while practicing, or in matches. It was amazing how much the sport had changed him. It changed Tsukki too. Until then, Tsukki had been his, and no one else’s. Volleyball made Tsukki a real team player, who cared about the sport a lot. Without volleyball, Tsukki wouldn’t be the soft, vulnerable person he is around Tadashi now. He also definitely wouldn’t have Hinata and Kageyama as some of his closest friends. He also never would have come out as gay. Not openly at least. Maybe to Tadashi. Maybe. But it was nice to see him grow into a person who allows himself to be nice and soft, while remaining one of the most intimidating people Tadashi has ever met. He was cool now, for real this time.

The rest of the day was good too. His classes were fine, and he got to spend them with Tsukki. They always had fun making jokes about the teacher, or the other students. Not in a mean way, he hopes. It was mainly just to pass the time. After school he had practice again, then he went to Tsukki’s house. They studied. When they needed a break they stepped outside Tsukki’s window to have a smoke, and talk. He ate dinner with Tsukki’s family. The dinner was great. Tsukki’s mom was a really great cook.

Most of his days went like that. They were good days, but they’re also exactly why Tadashi wants to change his lifestyle. School days were great, and he got to do things he’s good at, and feel a great deal of accomplishment when he does them well. But the party they went to on the weekend was also fun. And it didn’t hurt his ability to do good things.

Sometimes Tadashi forgot when one day ended and the next one began. Sometimes he’d mention something funny that happened during practice that week to Hinata, and he’d find out that it actually took place a month ago. Some days he’d go to sleep at night not knowing what he did that day. It was hard, actually. Sometimes he’d wake up from a dream about a mundane conversation between him and the second years, and he couldn’t tell if it was even a dream because it was so normal. It wasn’t a bad thing, really. It just got old. He could distinctly remember the overarching things that had defined his first and second year of high school, but the small things really could have happened at any point. Sometimes Daichi was in a memory, and it made him sure that that event happened in their first year, but that was the only discernable difference. Or, if he remembered that Tsukki was dating Kuroo at the time, it was probably in his second year. Tadashi liked his life, he really did, but at times like these, he just wished there was more.

The rest of the week went by in a similar fashion. It was a good week, actually. One of the second years had been training to be a libero, and he executed his receives amazingly that week. Tadashi also got an A on his math test, which he hadn’t been too worried about, but it raised his spirits nonetheless. But now it was Friday and that meant that him and his friends were going camping the next day, and he was beyond excited.

He was over at Tsukki’s place making sure they had everything they needed. They were sharing a tent, so they made sure it was aired out and clean, along with their sleeping bags. They also made sure the car was in good shape and that Tsukki was comfortable driving it. The car was relatively small, and also very old, so they had to double check they could put all their stuff in there, plus that of Hinata and Kageyama. They arranged with Tanaka to pick up some beer on their way to the campsite which, admittedly felt super sketchy, but for once, Tadashi wasn’t worried.

Tsukki called him Tadashi whenever they were alone together. Tadashi called him Kei. It was nice. They’d been friends for such a long time, and it felt natural to use each other’s first names. It was intimate. Tadashi had spent at least half his time in Tsukki’s house that the name Tsukkishima didn’t feel personal. That’s probably why he’s continued calling him ‘Tsukki’ throughout the years. That name distinguished him from the rest of his family. But Kei felt different on his tongue. Calling him Kei did a lot more than distinguish him as an individual. It allowed for a type of intimacy in their relationship. That intimacy had existed since forever. Tsukki was his whole life. He spent every day with him. They were always together, and they understood each other. If Tadashi got nervous before a game, Tsukki would comfort him, simply with a glance, or a word, and no one else knew what that meant, but it took the stress out of him. If Tsukki was overwhelmed, Tadashi would make sure he felt comfortable, or got a drink of water. When Tsukki was exhausted, Tadashi would flawlessly cover for him. Sometimes Tsukki would say things in class because he knew Tadashi was too nervous to ask himself. When they were alone together, Tadashi was never confused. Even if he was beyond anxious, being with Tsukki would calm him down. When they sat in the same room together, the silence was never bad. It was the type of silence that could only exist between people who wholeheartedly trust each other. Recently, Tsukki would talk to him a lot more. About his day, about what he was feeling, about volleyball, or their classes. It was nice. Calling him Kei allowed him to tell him this. Simply by using his name.


	2. -pation!

Hinata and Kageyama arrived ten minutes late the next day, which was actually fifteen minutes earlier than Kei predicted. They just barely fit all their things into the car, but that was okay, because it meant they could go. Kei’s driving was smooth. It was weird seeing him drive, because it meant he held power. The driver completely controls what happens to people in a car. The four of them were all young, and inexperienced with driving, but Kei was calculated and grounded in everything he did. Tadashi had driven before, but it was scary. Cars are weapons, and it’s nerve-wracking to control something like that. With one mistake he could hurt people or himself. He enjoyed driving, because he lived in a town and driving was an overwhelmingly better method of transportation than biking or taking public transit, but he didn’t feel safe in the driver’s seat. Seeing Kei drive was good though. He was always focused on the road, with the same glint in his eye that he got when they were in a match and he was trying to pinpoint an opposing player. In a lot of ways, Kei was so overwhelmingly himself when he was driving. Calm, cool, and collected, yet determined and focused. It made Tadashi feel safe, which is exactly what Tadashi needs when he’s in the car.

“We’re six minutes away from Tanaka’s house.” Kei stated.

“Okay so what’s the plan?” asked Hinata.

“Kageyama, you’re a decoy. You’re going to stand one block away and attract attention to yourself. Do one of your weird rants about volleyball that has some weird underlying meaning to a random girl walking down the street. She’ll freak out and call someone to help her. Soon, the whole block will be over there. That’s when Hinata will jump out and start circling the block with his super speed, just to keep watch. Then, once we’re sure we’re all clear, Tsukki and I are going to roll out of the car and go, unnoticed into the house. That’s when-“, Tadashi stopped.

“Shut up Yamaguchi. We’re here” Tsukki said, “also, we’re not doing any of that. We’re just going to go into the house and pick up what we need to pick up. Yamaguchi and I cleared a spot for it under our stuff last night”

Tsukki stepped out of the car, and they all followed suit. They started walking towards the house, but the door opened before they even made it to the steps.

“Tanaka Senpai!” Hinata exclaimed.

“Wow my kouhai are massive rebels now”, Tanaka yelled, “Come inside, please”.

They slipped their shoes off at the entrance way. They’d all been to Tanaka’s house before. He had the team over a couple times, and had a really lovely house. It was neat, polished, and beautifully designed. Nothing like the guy who actually lived in it.

They were lead to a massive keg sitting in the middle of the living room.

“Out of everyone I’ve played with, I must say you four are not the ones I would have pegged to ask me to buy you beer. I’m flattered, really.”

“You’re so cool senpai” said Hinata.

“Thank you, Tanaka” said Kageyama

“Of course, anytime. If you need any more I am always happy to lend you my services. Just stay safe, please”

“Actually, could you help us get it into the car, we didn’t expect the keg to be so big,” asked Tadashi.

Hinata and Kageyama spent the rest of the ride with their tent in between them, but at least it meant they wouldn’t have to run out to get more beer at any point during their trip.

“Dumbass, you put the orange poles into the orange holes it’s not that hard,” Kageyama complained.

“Well at least I knew how to put the poles together,” Hinata countered.

“Why am I even here again?”

“Because your friends all thought hiking would be boring because you’re boring,” Hinata taunted, causing Kageyama to run after him. Hinata was faster, but Kageyama was taller, so there was no clear winner here.

Tadashi sometimes wondered how he got along with those two. In his first year, they really annoyed him and Tsukki. They were always arguing, and they took themselves so seriously, and honestly it was exhausting to watch. But they got closer as teammates, and the more they spent time learning how to work together, the more their bickering became playful rather than self-indulgent. By their second year, they all knew they were part of something amazing. Their hard work throughout the first year had taken them from a failing team to national champions. Their friendship with each other was solid and real and build on mutual respect. The four of them were always grouped together as the second years, and it stuck. They started eating lunch together, and sometimes meeting up on weekends, and they all enjoyed it. The four of them had a great flow to their conversation, and for the first time Tadashi felt comfortable around people who weren’t Tsukki. He learned that Kageyama was actually a really soothing and comforting person, and Hinata was incredibly funny and supportive. When Tsukki started going out with Kuroo, they were the first people he told, aside from Tadashi. The four of them worked really well together, in a weird way. Where Tadashi and Tsukki’s friendship was calm, theirs was chaotic, but they complemented each other. Tadashi was glad he had people outside of Tsukki who he could rely on.

Kageyama walked back, defeated, with a smiling Hinata on his shoulders.

“We have decided that Tsukkishima is going to put up our tent, and we’re going to put up the volleyball net” Hinata declared.

“You idiots really can’t put up a tent?” Tsukki sighed.

“We probably could but it would take a couple hours and we know you don’t want to hear us arguing the whole time, plus you’re like the smartest person ever,” Hinata said, as Kageyama shrugged him off his shoulders.

Tsukki put up the tent in ten minutes, so it probably was the best call. It took just as long for the two others to set up the net and start playing. Tadashi quickly jumped into the spot next to Kageyama, with Tsukki jumping in with Hianta. They played a couple of points, until Hinata announced that he was hungry.

“Alright. One set, losers have to walk all the way over to the entrance of the campgrounds and pick up dinner” Kageyama suggested.

“Oh you are ON” yelled Hinata, serving the ball.

Unfourtunately, Hinata’s hunger got the best of him and he forfeited. He did not, however, forget to let the other team know that he definitely would have won. Tadashi and Hinata grabbed their wallets and left their spot.

“Thanks for suggesting this, by the way,” said Tadashi.

“It was actually Tobio’s idea. Not the camping, obviously. He’s a dumbo who thought we’d enjoy a several day hiking trip with each other. We definitely wouldn’t have been able to bring the net if we did that and at that point there would be no point” Hinata said.

Tadashi flinched at the use of Kageyama’s first name.

“I’m just mad that he thought of us going on a trip together before I did, that’s like a hundred friendship points to him, and he’s really bad at getting friendship points” Hinata continued.

Though Tadashi was surprised Kageyama had been the one who’d suggested the trip, it kind of made sense. He’d been acting strange for the past week, even weirder than he was before a big game. Kageyama was a really good guy. He was passionate about volleyball, and often times got consumed by it. Tadashi really admired that about him. He knew what he wanted and was open to do anything to get it. It was a trait him and Hinata shared, and it’s part of what drew Tadashi to them. Tadashi didn’t have any idea what he wanted. Being close friends with two passionate and driven people inspired him to take opportunities that were given to him, and go after things that he wanted, even if they weren’t going to be permanent things in his life.

“I’m sorry you lost out on those points” Tadashi replied.

“That’s okay, I’ll definitely win them back soon”

“I’m rooting for you”

The two entered the store looking for some easy to prepare meals. They decided they wanted fish, and Tadashi insisted they also buy some vegetables. They walked back to the campsite after picking out a lovely dinner of two whole fish and a handful of sprouts.

When they arrived back at the campsite, the other two had prepared a fire. Kageyama’s hand was in a bucket of cold water, because somehow he managed to burn it, twice.

“Kageyama you never cease to amaze me. Sometimes I think you’re only an idiot when you’re with him,” Tsukki said, gesturing at Hinata, “but turns out you’re also completely incapable of basic human tasks without him too”

“If you let me record you and Tsukki having a conversation for two minutes, I assure you neither of you will ever get a confession again,” Tadashi exclaimed.

Kageyama smiled at the two of them, before running over to Hinata to start making the food. It was nice. Usually, Tadashi was hyperaware of what was happening at all times. He took in every movement around him, and constantly knew exactly where Tsukki was, in case he needed him. His movements were determined by wherever nobody else was. Right now, though, he was grilling fish on an open fire, and everything was good.

They had each had a couple glasses of beer, and were in a four-way debate about which bird from Kei’s list they wanted to see the most. Eventually, Kageyama suggested he and Hinata figure out who wins by means of a race.

“Do you want to grab a smoke while they do this?” Kei asked. Tadashi nodded.

There were two smoking areas on the campground, one in the parking lot, and one on the beach. The two of them quietly made their way to the beach. Every step they got closer was more beautiful than the last. There were trees surrounding the whole lake, and the sky was filled with stars. It was a clear night, so the reflection in the water was stunning. Eventually, Kei pulled out a cigarette.

“Kageyama’s parents are getting a divorce” he said, pulling out his lighter.

“Oh, shit”. Tadashi didn’t know what to say.

“He told me while you two were buying food. Hinata knows. He wanted me to tell you in case he didn’t get to before Hinata got drunk” Kei offered the cigarette to Tadashi.

“Well at least now you won’t be the only one with separated parents”, Tadashi offered, trying to lighten the mood.

“I told him he was stealing my dark backstory. He didn’t laugh”

Tadashi remembers when Kei’s parents split up. They were in middle school, and he had no idea how to comfort him. Until then, Kei had been protective of Tadashi, and Tadashi didn’t know how to do the same for him. He started going over to Kei’s house after school every day. They’d already spent most of their time together at that point, but this was when their relationship really started to change. Tadashi didn’t understand what Kei was going through, and he didn’t talk about it much. But Tadashi went with him to Kei’s dad’s place the first time he visited. He didn’t say anything the whole time. His dad was really trying hard, but it wasn’t working. He made them pork ton katsu, and hung up multiple dinosaur posters in Kei’s room. That night, before they went to sleep, Kei thanked him, and Tadashi knew he was helping.

“That explains the weird dinner then” Tadashi stated, passing Kei the cigarette.

“And the suggestion that we go hiking” Kei added.

“Still doesn’t explain why on earth he thought it would be cool to see a black-necked grebe though”, Tadashi said. Kei smiled at him.

“Okay I have one; last breakup”, Hinata said, grinning.

“She refused to go to one of our matches, and when I asked her why she said she didn’t really get volleyball. Then I ended it.” Kageyama said.

“You are dedicated to the bone. That might be getting in your way of actually boning” Kei said, earning a crisp high five from Tadashi.

Kageyama chuckled, looking down. “It wasn’t even that she didn’t get it. I just spend all my time playing or training, and I don’t think I could date someone who isn’t even willing to come to a game. It’s okay though, it wasn’t serious. Just annoying mostly.”

“Yams?”, Hinata asked.

“I was too busy. After a couple weeks I realized I couldn’t do everything I was doing and start a relationship”

“Me too, actually,” said Hinata, “obviously I have volleyball, but I’m also trying to get all my grades up so I can get into universities so we dated for two weeks until I realized we hadn’t even actually been on a date so I broke up with her.”

“Tsukkishima? And none of that ‘he was going to cheat on me crap’” Kageyama asked.

“I asked Kenma about it and he told me Kuroo wouldn’t do that, so it’s gotta be something else” Hinata said.

Kei sighed. “He just…kind of made me feel like the main reason he wanted me was so he could have a boyfriend”

“Well duh” Hinata said, bonking his head.

“No, it was like the idea of dating someone was the interesting part of me. For my birthday he got me sneakers. Not even volleyball sneakers. Just regular ones. I have never once expressed any interest in shoes. It just felt like he liked the idea of me more than me.” Kei murmured. The group nodded in understanding. After they broke up, Kei talked a lot to Tadashi about it, weirdly. He obviously cared about him, a lot. The two of them had a great natural rhythm and chemistry, but their needs in a relationship were different. Tadashi had never seen Kei that distraught about anything, really. It was weird to see his friend like that; vulnerable and raw. Even as he talked about it now, Tadashi could see those feelings coming back. He put a hand on Kei’s knee to calm him down.

“Okay next one; biggest fear” Hinata said.

“People.” Tadashi said, without hesitation, “Talking to people is terrifying. It’s like, I know that if I try to be myself they’ll probably like me more but if they like me less that would be heartbreaking” Kei moved his knee up into Tadashi’s hand, to try to comfort him. It was awkward, but it worked.

“Failure.” Kei spoke, “Like, if I do my best it still won’t ever be good enough”

“I’d say failure too” Hinata said, “I’ve worked so hard to be respected as an ace and I know I’m not bad at it, but I don’t like knowing that there’s a potential that I poured the last three years into a dream I can’t achieve because of my height.”

“Bullshit” Kageyama said, “You’re a fucking idiot if you think that. You’re the best damn spiker I know and you’ve done nothing but win us medals and make me a better setter.” Hinata looked at him, shocked for a moment. “Usually I would probably say failure too, but right now I’m more scared I’ll never have a family. We’ve never been perfect. My parents were always away for work and I resented them for it. But now it’s like I know I’ll never have the family I always wanted”.

“You will.” Kei said, hesitantly, “You will. If your parents are separating now, less than a year before you move out, it’s because they know it will be best for you in the long run. My mom is happier now, every single day, than she was for most of my childhood. Our family is better now. It was really hard for a long time, but it’s better now than it ever could have been before”

The four of them were quiet for a moment. Kageyama stood up and walked over to Kei. He slowly put his hand on his head and ruffled his hair. It was awkward as hell. Tadashi had about a hundred jokes brewing in his brain, but it was a genuinely sweet moment, so he kept to himself.

“I’m going to bed.” Kageyama said, walking towards his tent. Before going in he looked back and smiled at Kei.

“I think I will too.” Said Hinata, following behind him,

Tadashi and Kei sat there for a moment, listening to the cicadas. Kageyama had never been an open guy. Most of the ‘deep’ conversations Tadashi had had with him were done through volleyball metaphors. That worked, most of the time. Kageyama understood one thing really well, so it made sense to try to draw comparisons to it. Still, it was nice to see his friend open up about something in a straightforward way. Kageyama was rather blunt, and Tadashi liked that about him. He wasn’t one to hide his thoughts. But it was hard to get the root of his problems. So it was good that he had opened up like that.

“Smoke?” Kei asked, turning to him.

“Yeah, please”

They walked together towards the beach. Earlier, when they’d gone, it was beautiful, but this was something else entirely. It was now the middle of the night. Probably around 2am. It was completely dark, and the only thing to be heard were the cicadas. The beach was empty, and the sand was glistening in the moonlight. The reflection of the stars and the trees on the water perfectly mirrored the sky. This time, Kei walked further along the beach. They walked in silence, peacefully. Eventually, they found a giant tree in the middle of the beach. The tree was perfect, actually. It felt like a little hideaway from anything outside of them. They sat down and leaned against it. Kei took out his phone and put on his stargazing playlist. They’d listened to this playlist countless times. Tadashi followed all Kei’s playlists, but he never listened to them outside of their designated uses. It kept them special. The last time he’d heard this one was about a month ago on Kei’s balcony.

Kei reached into his pocket to grab a cigarette. He pulled it out slowly, and put it gently in Tadashi’s mouth. Tadashi giggled, because it really wasn’t put in at a proper angle, and was completely lopsided in his mouth, and Kei let out a chuckle when he noticed how awkward the positioning of the cigarette was. Tadashi rolled it along his lips until it felt comfortable. Then, Kei lit it for him. Tadashi took a drag and brought his fingers to his mouth to take it out. He then shifted the position of the cigarette in his hand and brought it to Kei’s face, putting it perfectly in between his lips.

“Goddammit” Kei said, cigarette still in his mouth. Tadashi laughed.

“Honestly, Kei, it’s like you’re not even a 1920’s rich boy trying to win over some sexy, stylish lady,” Tadashi joked.

“Can I be a 1920’s rich boy trying to win over a sexy, stylish young lad?” Kei said, tentatively. Kei looked over at Tadashi, as if asking for approval. Tadashi could feel warmth coming onto his cheeks, but he smiled. He couldn’t quite see in the lighting, but he was sure Kei was blushing too. Their sides were pressed up against each other. They were a lot, these days. Tadashi let his head fall on Kei’s shoulder.

Tadashi woke up next to Kei reading his spider book in their tent. His first thought was that he really needed coffee. Then, he thought that no book on spiders was going to turn him into Spiderman. But Kei knew that already.

“They made coffee. It’s really bad. I’ll walk you to the store.” Kei said. He bookmarked his page and set the book down. Tadashi slowly sat up, his missing headache from last weekend finally setting in. He wanted to change, but figured that he had time to do that later. Plus, he’s allowed to look like shit today. He’s camping.

He stepped out of the tent and was greeted with his friends playing leap frog together.

“How on earth do you have the energy for that?” Kei asked, taking the words out of Tadashi’s mouth, “We’re going to get coffee. Yours stinks.”

“Can you also get oatmeal we don’t have any breakfast” Hinata yelled as they walked away. Kei shot him a thumbs up.

“So, how’s your summer been so far?” Kei asked.

“Well, I feel like absolute shit, but it’s actually been really great so far” Tadashi barely got his words out of his mouth.

“Good.”

“You’re a really good friend, Kei”, Tadashi said, remembering last night.

“You’ve been telling me that for years”.

“I know, but you were really good last night to Kageyama. And to me. But you’re always good to me” Tadashi knew Kei was a weird guy. He was calculated, and came off really cold. He was also smart and sharp – he always has something to say during a conversation. But he had moments here and there when he was really genuine. He usually used logic or facts to back up his arguments, but he had a shitload of amazing personal anecdotes, and it was cool seeing them used on someone other than Tadashi.

The walk to the store really wasn’t that long, but it was a major inconvenience for someone who did not want to leave the campsite. The campsite was covered with trees, with a road in the middle. Other than the road and the cleared ground, the campsite looked like a full forest. On the walk up to the store, the trees continuously got less dense, until there was nothing but a shitty looking convenience store. The store itself was actually really nice, and had lots of fresh food and camping equipment, but it was a little depressing to see the nature fade away.

When they got to the store, Kei headed straight to the back and poured three cups of coffee. Two of them had cream and two sugars, while the other was just a black coffee. Tadashi poked around for a bit until he found a pack of oatmeal. He also grabbed a pack of gummy worms.

“Who’s the third coffee for?” Tadashi teased, implying Kei had a date, though he knew that wasn’t possible.

“You. You always have one, then your headache comes back an hour later. So I’m getting you two so that when that happens we don’t have to walk back up here” Kei stated, and paid for their items.

Kei was right, after Tadashi’s second coffee, he was back to normal. The oatmeal, however, was not normal. It was weird and sticky, and when Hinata tilted the pot to get the last bit out he accidentally spilled it all over his shirt, so the four of them had spent the last ninety minutes at the beach trying to get the oatmeal out. At this point they all probably knew that the shirt was unsalvageable, and it was a cheap raggedy white tee shirt anyways, but the principle was what was important. Tadashi had already used a full bottle of laundry detergent so far, but damn if he wasn’t determined to take care of that abomination he bought as oatmeal. They haven’t even tried to scrub the pot yet. Tadashi was already figuring out ways they could go the rest of the trip without one, and so far it was going poorly. More than anything though, Tadashi was trying to find that tree him and Kei were at last night. It really was a lovely tree, but it was nowhere to be seen. Tadashi figured that the walk had probably been longer than he’d thought at night. Yet, he still wanted to find that tree.

“Smoke?” Kei asked, startling Tadashi.

“Sounds fantastic” Tadashi replied, getting up from the sand.

Kei pulled out a cigarette and lit it.

“Tsukkishima I swear to God if you can’t play anymore because your lungs collapse I’m not going to feel sorry for you!” Kageyama yelled.

“WAIT! Tsukkishima can I use your lighter?” Hinata yelled, much louder than Kageyama.

Kei tossed the lighter in Hinata’s direction and started walking with Tadashi.

“I want to find that tree” Tadashi stated.

“Me too, I think it’s down this way a couple of minutes” Kei replied.

Tadashi knew that Hinata was likely setting his shirt on fire right now, and there was nothing Kageyama would do to stop him, but that was a risk Tadashi was willing to take if it meant he could find the tree again. The beach wasn’t nearly as beautiful in the day time. It wasn’t crowded, but there were a lot more people there than the night before. The swimmers and boaters created ripples in the water, so it wasn’t nearly as reflective. Still, though, it was a lovely beach. After a couple minutes of walking, they found the tree again. When they found it last night, there was something about it that was absolutely perfect. It wasn’t the same as it was the night before, but it was exactly what Tadashi needed now. He sat down, and Kei handed him the cigarette.

“So I’m no longer a sexy, stylish young lad in the harsh sun? What changed? Please don’t tell me it’s that I almost rode the laundry detergent earlier to get the last of it out, because that was at least half a joke. Please don’t tell me you’re getting sunstroke. I know you’re pale as hell but don’t let that stop you from spending your entire day with me. Speaking of which, have you put on sunscreen today because it’s really warm right now and I know how much you burn and I’d much rather put sunscreen on your back than calamine lotion. Or am I no longer a sexy, stylish young lad because of the noise because I can assure you that is not my fault-“

“Shut up Yamaguchi” Kei said, putting the cigarette up to his lips. Tadashi smiled. “I would actually appreciate it if you helped me with the sunscreen though. Hinata’s going to set that shirt on fire and they’re both going to run into that water and I know that we’ll both end in there somehow too”

Kei and Tadashi had gone on lots of trips together. At least a couple times per summer without fail, one would join the other on their family trips. When they were younger, an adult would help both of them with sunscreen, but more recently Tadashi had done it for Kei, because that felt less intrusive somehow. Tadashi didn’t mind doing it, either. It was fun knowing Kei was comfortable enough with Tadashi to let him do something oddly personal for him. Tadashi’s relationship with Kei was important to him. It was nice knowing Kei felt the same way. Plus, now Tadashi has drunk and sober evidence that Kei thinks he’s a sexy, stylish young lad.

The beach was the perfect place for them to spend the afternoon. The four of them were exhausted from the excitement of the night before, so a lazy day at the beach worked out great. Hinata did set his shirt on fire, but he also got rid of the oatmeal, which they eventually all agreed had been the goal from the start. After spending several hours in the lake with Kei and Hinata, he decided he should take a break. Kageyama was sitting on the beach, doing something with the sand. As he got closer, he realized he was trying to build a sandcastle, but really had no idea how.

“You’re not going to join them in the water? It’s very relaxing” Tadashi told him.

“Yeah well Hinata can and will spend all day in there, and I know he’s going to lure me in there at some point and I’m not going to be able to leave, so I’m just prolonging the inevitable” Kageyama told him.

“You are an honourable man” Tadashi replied, “Are you okay? You seem down and I know you have a good reason to be miserable, but if there’s anything any of us can do…I mean you know we all care about you”

Kageyama didn’t speak for a moment. He did that sometimes. “I can’t build a sandcastle”, he said finally.

“What?”

“I’m at the beach and I want to build a sandcastle and I can’t.”

“Okay so the most important part of building a sandcastle is that the sand needs to be wet.” Tadashi told him. Kageyama stood up and started walking towards the wet sand. He sat down next to him. Kageyama was on the verge of an anxiety attack. When Tadashi was almost at his breaking point, Kei would help him try to finish the one small thing that was getting him riled up, then he would help him through the rest once he’d calmed down.

“So now that the sand’s wet you’re the artist, you can make anything you want. What can I help you with?”

“Could you make the base of the castle?” Kageyama asked.

“Tobio! You’re making a sandcastle without me? Not on my watch” Hinata exclaimed, running towards them. Kei followed him gently out of the water.

The four of them made the shittiest, most awful sandcastle of all time. It almost got washed away by the tide at least five times because they couldn’t even get the site of the castle right. But they had fun. And Kageyama took two jabs at Hinata, so he was almost feeling okay again.

“Are you okay Kageyama?” Tadashi asked.

“Well I still don’t know how to build a good sandcastle, but I’m okay.” He replied.

“The campground has some hiking trails! We should do one!” Kageyama exclaimed.

It had been two days since they’d made the world worst sandcastle, but the days have been amazing. During the days Tadashi has been reading, or swimming, or playing volleyball. At nights they drink and talk and play drunk volleyball, which seemed like it would be easy for four players who have been to nationals twice, but it actually ensures that everything about their game is off. After Hinata and Kageyama go to bed, Tadashi and Kei head down to the tree and talk for hours. They listen to Kei’s playlist, and share a smoke, and never want to leave the tree to go to bed. Every morning, when Tadashi wakes up, Kei is there, reading his spider book. Tadashi knows that Kei could have finished that book in one reading, so he doesn’t understand why he’s still reading it every morning, but it doesn’t bother Tadashi. Not if this means he can become Spiderman.

“If we go hiking I might be able to see some birds.” Kei said.

So they go hiking. It’s just before sunset when they start, and Kageyama said that if they match the estimated hiking time, they’ll catch a beautiful view for the sunset.

“I don’t need to drink water to stay hydrated, hydration is a state of mind Tobio!” Hinata jumped up, as if he’d said something clever.

“Sometimes I can’t tell when you’re jokingly stupid or if you’re really just like that” Kei quipped.

“It’s an even split between the two”, said Kageyama.

“I’m not that stupid! Tsukkishima! Let me help you find some birds!” Hinata said, moving back to be next to Kei. Tadashi walked forward next to Kageyama.

“Not challenging Hinata over the meaning of hydration. You really are getting soft in your old age”, Tadashi said as he stepped in next to Kageyama.

“If I lose he’ll never drink water again,” Kageyama started, “Plus, I like hiking. I like running, but I also really like hiking”

“It would have been cool to go on a hiking trip”, Tadashi stated, “It would have been cool seeing how far we walked at the end of it and planning the trip and following through with it, seeing all the things we planned on paper come to life.”

“Sometimes doing things unplanned is good too” Kageyama said, and Tadashi agreed with him.

“Tsukkishima what the heck is that!”, Tadashi heard from behind him. He turned around to see Kei with his hand over Hinata’s mouth, using the other one to call Tadashi and Kageyama over.

It was a really weird bird. The first thing Tadashi noticed was the dark black streaks running down from its eyes. It reminded Tadashi of a girl who had been wearing makeup crying. Its head was grey, but faded into a colour that Tadashi couldn’t distinguish between pink or yellow. Its tail was long, but it was a small bird. Weirdest of all though, it was totally round. It looked like a balloon, really.

“That’s a bearded reedling”, Kei informed them, “They’re extremely rare. They get round like that when they’re angry.”

The four of them watched the bird, silently. It was looking at them the whole time, and it didn’t do much, but it was the coolest bird Tadashi had ever seen. He didn’t care about birds a lot, but he could tell he was seeing something really special. It was gorgeous and didn’t even look like something from earth. It was certainly unique, in the best way possible.

It flew away after a couple minutes, and they continued on their hike.

“It was like Hinata when someone blocks his spike”, Kageyama said, “Like it should be scary but it’s not”.

“I can be very scary, thank you very much,” Hinata stated with a grin, “It was more like in movies when someone discovers something really cool behind a sketchy door or a weird hidden cabinet”.

“Like in Pokémon Mystery Dungeon explorer games when you go through the waterfall and find all the jewels. It was like that” Tadashi said. Kei didn’t say anything, but he looked like the happiest out of all of them.

They kept walking for a while. Kei didn’t continue looking for birds. It was pretty obvious he’d found anything he’d hoped to. The walk was nice. The four of them didn’t really have anything to say to each other, understanding that seeing that bird was what they’d all needed. The scenery around them was beautiful. The trees were all exceptionally green. Some were darker, and some lighter, but all of them bold in their colour. Every once in a while there was a crack in the trees, and they could see part of the lake. The light was gradually fading as they went on, each passing moment introducing new lighting to guide them on their path.

Before long, they could see a wide clearing up ahead. Tadashi figured it was the spot Kageyama had talked about earlier. However, about fifty meters before there was an opening in the trees, in between which was a rock. It looked more private and intimate, and Tadashi was drawn to it.

“We’re going to have a smoke here, we’ll be out soon,” Kei told the other two, and Tadashi smiled.

There was a big root in the opening, so Tadashi followed behind Kei as they made their way to the rock. Kei sat down, legs dangling off the edge. When Tadashi sat down he noticed how high up they were. Looking down he saw how huge the lake was. He couldn’t see to the other side, but there was a big island in the middle, packed densely with trees. Kei pulled out a cigarette from his jacket and placed it in Tadashi’s mouth to light it.

“That bird was amazing”, Kei said.

Kei had changed a lot from when Tadashi first met him. He still made fun of people and read books about dinosaurs, but he had an understanding that he was a part of something bigger than himself. Until their first year, Tadashi always felt like him and Kei lived in their own universe. Most things didn’t make sense to him, but when they were together they did. But throughout high school he’d made new friends, and became deeply invested in volleyball. Not just playing the game itself, but becoming a real part of the community. His friends were some of the best high school players in the country, and he’d met most of the other important players too. Researching and practicing and becoming a part of something big and widespread and amazing showed both Kei and Tadashi that they weren’t alone. When Kei started devoting himself to volleyball and got a boyfriend, it was good, because it showed both of them that there were beautiful things in the world outside of their relationship. At the end of the day though, it always came back to the two of them, together. Like how after they won nationals Tadashi slept over at Kei’s house, or when Tadashi was rejected by Yachi and Kei brought him lunch for two weeks to make sure he kept eating, or when Kei came out to their teammates and Tadashi stood next to him, helping him when he started to feel uncomfortable. Or on this trip, when they went off by themselves for a smoke and shared it, and let whatever happened that day sink in.

The sunset was beautiful. It started slowly, but when it did the colours were astounding. It started with a pale blue, fading quickly to yellow and orange, with some spots of dark red. It reflected off the water the same way the stars did at night. The only thing interrupting the colours being the trees on the island and surrounding the lake.

The sunset was fading to purple and blue by the time they finished their smoke, but they continued sitting there until it was over.

“Best moment in a game?” Hinata asked. It was around 2:30am by now, and they’d been talking for at least five hours. Their drinks were starting to fade, but none of them wanted to fill up. They were happy just being there with each other.

“For me, it would be our first game with Furukodani last year. It was one of my first games on the lineup and I scored us a few points just from serving, and I realized I was good enough for the team for the first time” Tadashi said.

“Our practice game earlier this year,” Kageyama said, “Realizing I was the captain of the team. I know I’m a good setter, but I liked understanding I’m also more than that to team.”

“Blocking Ushijima’s spike our first time at Nationals, for me,” Tsukkishima said, “realizing I cared about something, probably.”

“I don’t know if I have just one good moment,” Hinata started, “Sometimes, there are these moments where Tobio and I we, well we just line up perfectly together and when I’m at the peak of my jump I can see the ball spinning at the perfect position for what feels like forever and it’s like I get to choose exactly how the game is going to continue. Those moments in games, when they’re at their best, are the most amazing things ever.”

Tadashi wasn’t a top player who had a perfect partner with him, but he knew exactly what Hinata meant.

“I don’t want to go tomorrow”, Kageyama spoke, breaking the silence, “This has been good.”

“Tobio don’t worry you can spend the whole summer at my house and then we’ll always be ready to play volleyball and every night we’ll ask Yamaguchi and Tsukkishima if they want to drink beer and play volleyball with us in the park, and Tsukkishima will tell us they’re not coming but they’ll appear every night regardless.” Hinata said.

“Kei promised me this year would be amazing,” Tadashi said, noticing Kei’s eyes suddenly look down, “But it’s not going to be amazing unless we’re all doing amazing!”

“We should play tonight, but switch the teams,” Kageyama suggested.

“Kageyama you know Kei doesn’t like it when you’re better than him” Tadashi teased.

“No, let’s do it. Tadashi, if anyone can beat the freak duo it’s us, we’ve been playing with them as long as they’ve been playing together” Kei said.

Needless to say, even in their boozed up state, Kageyama and Hinata playing together are almost an unstoppable force. Still, Tadashi and Kei put up a good fight. The four of them were really in the game, a result which came about due to pride and natural competition, only to be amplified by the beer. The four of them spent just about as much energy on finding creative intimidation tactics as they did on playing the game itself. It was fun, actually. The four of them, together, taunting each other. They all learned a little from it. For one, Hinata learned that doing secret moves that only team members know is hard to do when you are unable to be subtle and your opponents taught you the moves in the first place. Kei learned that it’s not really easy to intimidate the only three people who have ever seen you cry. The game went on for a while, much past the point where they were playing for pride alone. This game was everything to them, in this moment. Tadashi wasn’t thinking about grabbing a smoke with Kei, or what Kageyama was going to do when he got back, or even about the fact that he still doesn’t know how to go to parties. Everything was the game. And that was exactly what he needed.

“You know, Hinata, you and Kageyama work better and better together each day”, Tadashi told his redhead friend, after getting beat by him in their game.

“Recently I’ve been thinking the same thing,” Hinata said, “I mean Tobio and I work really well together on a volleyball court but we also work really good together when I make him buy me meat buns or when he doesn’t want to go into the city by himself so he makes me come with him and every day this trip I wake up in a tent next to him and I just want to stay there forever.”

“Go back a bit,” Tadashi said, unsure what to make of what Hinata was saying.

“I mean it’s Tobio and he’s my best friend but saying ‘best friend’ doesn’t really seem to fit because he’s so much more than that! We work amazing together when we play and sometimes he sends me balls that make me go ‘GWAH’ or ‘BWAH’ and it’s awesome but sometimes he makes me go like that when we’re not in a game and it feels good too. And I wish there was something else I could call him, because people need to know he’s not just my best friend he’s… well he’s Tobio”, Hinata rambled.

“That… that makes a lot of sense, actually.” Tadashi said, because he understood completely.

That night, Tadashi and Kei were on the beach sharing a smoke for the last time this trip. This spot had become the place where every day ended, and it was filled with endless contemplation and connection. Tadashi and Kei spent hours most days just talking to each other, but on this trip it had been different. This trip was perfect. Every moment of it got them closer to each other and closer to their other friends. The fact that it was ending was scary, more than exciting. It meant a wave of new things which Tadashi desperately wanted to do, but was simultaneously terrified of.

“I don’t think they’re flirting. Neither of them are smart enough to spend three solid years flirting and never realize about it”, Tadashi said in reference to their other friends.

“Sure, but at this point they know that what they’re doing together is different from what they do with others,” Kei said.

“It’s different, but that doesn’t mean it’s flirting,” Tadashi said, “They’re best friends!”

“Being best friends doesn’t mean they can’t be flirting,” Kei said, slowing down as he got towards the end of his sentence.

“Maybe you flirt with me sometimes, Kei,” Tadashi said, making sure to put an emphasis on his friends first name.

“Maybe I do,” Kei said, putting the cigarette in Tadashi’s mouth, “Tadashi”

Kei’s voice was soft and low, as if Tadashi was the only person on earth. It was nice, sensual, even. It wasn’t hard to imagine Kei being sexy. He’d been in a relationship for a while, so Tadashi knew he wasn’t completely innocent. It was different hearing it for real though.

“I mean, you are,” Tadashi said, “You are my best friend, I mean.”

Kei froze for a moment, before responding, “You’re mine, too Tadashi, of course”.

The moment was silent. Tadashi felt something between them. The night was clear, and beautiful, but he couldn’t take his eyes off what was happening in front of him. Kei’s skin was reddened from the sun, and Tadashi felt like he could see into his skin, see something deeper. Kei was cracked a little bit, this close up, but still, Tadashi kept looking at him.

“They’re just both too focused on volleyball to see anything outside of it,” Kei said, “Plus, they’re both stubborn enough that neither of them would acknowledge their feelings.”

“I guess you’re right,” Tadashi said, with a chuckle.

Their conversation carried on as usual. Kei was soft like this, vulnerable. Yet, he was also weirdly dominant, not in an aggressive way, but more so protective. The moments they shared here, together, they were special moments for both of them. Tadashi knew him and Kei were two people who were drawn together, and held their lives together. Acknowledging that was good. Soon, they were past being drunk, and Tadashi stopped keeping track of their cigarettes. Still, they felt more out of it than they had earlier, due to the lateness of the night and the energy in their conversation. There was something raw in that moment, and it was fueling Tadashi like a drug.

They weren’t really talking anymore. Tadashi’s body was leaning on Kei, his head resting on his shoulder. Every few minutes one of them would bring up something they talked about earlier that night, and they would laugh about it. Kei slowly, hesitantly, propped his head on Tadashi’s.

“I love you” Kei stated.

“I love you too”

“You’re the best person I know, Tadashi”

The next morning, Tadashi couldn’t remember the moment properly, between the exhaustion from hiking and the sleep deprivation that made him feel weirder than he imagined any drug ever could. But that’s okay. He didn’t need that moment to be remembered clearly. He’s always known Kei loves him. It was nice to hear him say it, though.


	3. getting back into things

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello!!!!  
> I updated this and also changed up the chapters a lot because i didn't like how many chapters i had initially, the flow seemed kinda weird!!!!  
> anyways, thank u for sticking by me and continuing to read this  
> i'm planning on having sum longer chapters so it only made sense to put the earlier chapters together because they worked together anyways!!!!!  
> ALSO I ACCIDENTALLY DELETED A BUNCH OF UR COMMENTS WHILE I DID THIS AND NOW I'M VERY UPSET ABOUT IT SO I'M SORRY IF I DELETED UR COMMENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Getting back into the routine of being at home after their camping trip wasn’t too hard. Camping was like, a perfect bubble for him and his friends, detached from the rest of the world. Tadashi felt perfectly comfortable for a little bit. It was a weird feeling, but one he felt content existing like that for a little while. Coming home kind of felt like being suffocated, with all the different barriers preventing him from being the person he could be, who only his three friends really knew. Still, he was trying his best to get that feeling back, in any way he could. Him and Kei had been meeting up with Hinata and Kageyama in the evenings to hang out, have a couple beers, and allow themselves to feel safe with each other. Occasionally they’d meet up with some other friends too, and reconnect. At the end of every night, though, it was just Tadashi and Kei. Sometimes they would sleep over at each other’s house, sometimes they wouldn’t, but no matter what happened they usually ended their nights together with a smoke. Sometimes they would have so much to talk about, and sometimes there was nothing left to say.

This evening, they were meeting up with their teammates at Aoba, one of the first years house. They weren’t planning on drinking or smoking while they were there. The four third years agreed that they didn’t want to be responsible for a bunch of teenagers drinking for the first time. Still, Kei brought a pack of cigarettes for later.

“The idiots want to go together. Should we tell them to meet us here?” Kei asked.

“Yeah sure. We’ll probably leave in about an hour and a half, if you want to let them know.” Tadashi answered.

“I think I might buy a pet snake.”

“Is it because you’re both cold and seemingly unfeeling, but really when you get to know them all you want to do is lie down on rocks in the sun and literally nothing else for the rest of your life? Or is it because you’re both long with absolutely no width? Oh! I’ve got it! It’s because both of you initially seem intimidating and mean but really if you get to know them well enough they just annoy you while wearing weird hats and enjoy being booped on the nose? Or is-“

“Shut up Yamaguchi”, Kei said, turning his head away and smiling, “It’s not any of those things.”

“I know. It has more to do with your dinosaur thing probably.”

“I barely have a dinosaur thing”

“Okay then why do you want to get a snake? They are both reptiles!”

“Snakes are cool!” Kei exclaimed. Tadashi looked at him accusatively, “…And maybe I do have a dinosaur thing.”

Tadashi smiled at him, chuckling. He liked the idea of Kei with a snake. He would immediately become obsessed with it. On the downside, Tadashi knew he would start learning a lot about snakes he never cared to know. Maybe Kei could make that tolerable.

“Kageyama texted me asking if we’re going to have dinner. I told him we’d meet them at the ramen shop around the corner. They’re almost there.” Kei said.

Tadashi and Kei put on their shoes and made their way to the shop. They spotted Hinata and Kageyama walking towards the shop, and silently agreed that they wanted to get there before their friends. The two of them ran into the shop as quickly as they could, so that Hinata and Kageyama wouldn’t be able to tell that this was now a race. When they were around two storefronts away from the restaurant, the other two caught on and started running. Kei whipped open the door as soon as they got there, making the bell on the door ring like crazy. A few seconds later, the other two came in as well, setting the bell off even more furiously than before.

“Looks like we can beat you in a race”, Kei said.

“You guys had a head start”, Kageyama said.

“Yeah! We have to do it again!” Hinata said.

“Actually, I think we should maybe not almost break the door of this place for a third time,” Tadashi said, and the four of them made their way to a table.

“Hey, did you guys hear about that party in Tokyo next week? Kenma just texted asking if I was coming,” Hinata asked.

“Oh yeah, Oikawa invited me. He said a bunch of volleyball players from around Japan who were in his year are going.” Kageyama said.

“We should go!” Hinata exclaimed, never quite knowing how to maintain a proper volume in public places.

“That could be fun! We could take a train up and spend a couple nights in the city!” Tadashi said. Kei hadn’t said anything yet about the party. Kuroo was certain to be there, and although they weren’t on bad terms, Tadashi knew Kei had a tough time processing the whole thing. “Plus, it sounds like it will be pretty big, so we’ll get to talk to a bunch of people there. And we’ll make sure Kageyama gets at least some time away from Oikawa.”

“I’ll start looking for an AirBnB when we get back tonight,” Kei said.

The food was good. The four of them really did love the rest of the team, but considering they were supposed to be the responsible ones on the team, sometimes being around them could be a bit much. They might have spent a little too long eating, knowing where they were going after dinner. Still, they were excited, Hinata especially. Back in their first year, Hinata would go nuts for stuff like this. He simply adored spending time with more experienced players, and acted like his own team members were celebrities. Tadashi never quite understood it, but he did greatly admire his seniors. It was weird to imagine that maybe some of the first years saw him that way too. He knew their team was somewhat famous now, but Tadashi still had a lot of trouble digesting that fact.

“Yama! We’re heading out,” Hinata said, startling Tadashi back to reality.

“Oh, I didn’t pa-“, Tadashi started, before noticing Kei next to him. “Oh.”

“We should get going. Don’t want to keep them waiting,” Kei said, smiling at Tadashi.

“Yeah, of course… sorry.” Tadashi said, picking his stuff up, and walking out of the restaurant.

The walk to Aoba’s house wasn’t too far, about twenty minutes. Hinata and Kageyama occasionally got distracted by stray cats and cool trees on the walk over, preventing them from racing each other for the whole journey. Since getting back from their camping trip, Kageyama had been pretty down, not really indulging himself in things he usually would, so seeing him trying to get the attention of a wandering cat was really nice. He was really bad at it, as he had the charisma of a day old unwashed coffee cup. Still, it was nice.

“I’m not great at parties”, Kei said, from beside Tadashi.

“Neither am I”, Tadashi replied.

“You’re better than me”.

“I think you’re the only person who could actually say that”. Kei chuckled. Tadashi looked over at him. Kei was looking forward, concentrating on something intensely, like he was driving. Only, there was a hint of nervousness on his face that he didn’t have when driving, or ever, really.

“I’ll stick with you the whole time. I barely know most of those guys anyways”, Tadashi told Kei, looking up at him. Kei turned his head, and smiled, acknowledging that this was about the party in Tokyo.

“Nonsense, you’re their vice-captain, don’t sell yourself short”, Kei said. Tadashi ‘accidentally’ walked into him, laughing.

“Going to Tokyo will be fun, though”, Tadashi said.

“Complete opposite of camping.”, Kei said.

“We’ll just have to make sure the apartment is big enough for four dumbasses to play volleyball in”.

“We have to get through tonight to even begin thinking about that though”.

“Yeah, yeah. We both know you’ll be eager to make sure none of them accidentally kill each other in about two hours”.

“Maybe so, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to like it”.

“It may not mean you’ll like it, but I can assure you that you will”.

Tadashi was right. Kei loved being with his teammates, especially this year. As soon as he didn’t feel coddled by any of his teammates, Kei actually really loved spending time with them. With Hinata on the team, most of the first years on the team ended up sharing his wide-eyed enthusiasm for the sport, and as much as Kei would complain about how annoying it could be, there was something he found rather endearing about it. Tadashi figured it was part of the reason his best friend spent so much time around him in the first place.

The four third years had split up. Kageyama was being pestered by the second years. Ever since they joined the team, two of them allegedly annoyed him a lot, in the same way Hinata really ‘pissed him off’. Kano was also a setter, so he had always looked up to Kageyama. Hokama, while not a setter, also admired Kageyama a lot for his dedication. However, apart from admiring him, they were also very good at grinding his gears. Tadashi didn’t think that they actually upset him as much as he complained they did. He wouldn’t spend as much time with Kei or Tadashi if his outward judgements of his teammates were all that honest.

Hinata was talking to a group of the first years. While he was actually quite mature now, he was still completely goofy, and got along with pretty much everyone. The first years loved Hinata, who was certainly a lot more approachable than the other third years, and who always had time to spare to help people out with volleyball. Tadashi liked how much Hinata helped out with the first years one-on-one, because, if nothing else, it prevented Hinata from overworking himself. Plus, with Kageyama and Tadashi as captain and vice, it was nice for the two of them to not have to do all the work of leading the team.

Kei was talking with the other second year, Aoba. The two of them actually had a lot in common. They were both complete nerds, and a little quiet. Aoba was a lot more open with the team than Kei, but other than that they got along pretty well, actually. Tadashi liked Aoba. He was very down to earth and grounded. On a team that was full of excited, energetic people, it was nice to have some people who weren’t all like that. Tadashi got overwhelmed when everyone’s energy levels were a lot higher than his own, especially now that he had a leadership position on the team. Plus, Aoba was a hell of a server!

Tadashi was filling up on snacks, having just left Kageyama and the second years. It had been a pretty good evening so far. It was nice to have the team together. As much as volleyball itself was fun, Tadashi certainly wouldn’t be doing it as much as he does without a great team every year he’s been at Karasuno. His team was always pretty chaotic, yet weirdly grounded. It was nice, actually, to not feel any pressure to be a certain ‘type’ of athlete. Right now, though, Tadashi was thinking about how much something about this evening just felt right. Back in his first year, he’d never quite understood how people felt so comfortable with their teams. He’d always felt a layer of distance between him and the rest of the team. He knew they supported him, but he could never quite fully understand that. Every time he was on the court he felt uncomfortable because he never thought he could be what his teammates wanted, and when he was off the court, he felt isolated them for the same reason. The upper years were always really nice, but something about the whole thing still felt a little bit weird. Now, though, there really was nowhere he felt more comfortable than with his team. He knew not everyone on the team felt the same way.

Nakata, one of the first years, reminded Tadashi a lot of himself. He was clearly super enthusiastic and passionate, and definitely more serious about volleyball than Tadashi had been his first year. Still, there was something about him that made Tadashi feel protective of him. Tadashi knew that their team was pretty famous now, something which intimidated him if he thought about it too much, and he’d been on the team for three years. Tadashi knew that their team was pretty famous now, something which intimidated him if he thought about it too much, and he’d been on the team for three years. He couldn’t imagine how that would feel for a first year.

This gathering was nice, though. Getting to know the first years a little bit more was definitely nice, and it helped Tadashi figure out what he wanted to do for the team the rest of the year. To further help with this, Tadashi decided to go join Hinata in talking to some of the first years.

“YAMMMAAA!” Hinata yelled as he walked over. Hinata could really never stay still, but when he was around people whose energy levels met his own, he resembled a fire bug more than a human.

“Hey” Tadashi said. The group greeted him and went back to whatever they were talking about.

“Yamaguchi I heard you guys went camping? And Hinata set his shirt on fire! That’s so funny” Timone asked him.

“Yeah, after a certain point Tsukkishima and I decided to leave the two dumbasses alone and then immediately regretted it”.

“I thought you were supposed to be responsible”.

“I am, but when on holiday I don’t think there’s any use at all trying to stop those two. The minute they’re allowed to interact with each other without supervision it becomes chaotic and there’s absolutely nothing I can do about that”.

Hinata smiled at him, fully well knowing Tadashi and Kei could be equally chaotic when they wanted to.

“Yamaguchi, are you going to do volleyball in university?”, Nakata asked him. That question caught him off guard. It’s not that he hadn’t thought about it, but he certainly hadn’t really talked about it to anyone.

“Um, well,” Tadashi started, “I’m going to try to play for my school’s team, but I think I’m going to want to do something else professionally”.

“I think I’m the same”, Nakata said.

“That’s okay! As long as you have fun with it is all that matters. I know sometimes when I’m working super hard it can be exhausting since I know it’s not my future, but I just really love doing volleyball”.

“Yama could totally do volleyball, though”, Hinata said, “You’re one of the coolest servers ever, and with the amount you’ve improved since first year, I think you could train to be one of the best players in the country!”

“Improved?” Nakata asked.

“Oh, I really wasn’t that good at volleyball in my first year. Hinata and Kageyama and Tsukki always had a natural talent for it, but not me. I was barely on the team at all first year.”

“And now you’re vice-captain!”, Hinata said.

“I am!”.

Tadashi talked to the first years and Hinata a little longer. They talked a bit about their middle schools, and Tadashi learned that one of them had gone to the same middle school as him and Kei.

After a while, Kageyama called him over for a ‘captain’s meeting’. It wasn’t so much an exclusive meeting as it was a way for Kageyama to gently exit from his conversation. Actually, both Tadashi and Kageyama would call captain’s meetings at random times, just to get away from whatever situation they were in. It was surprisingly refreshing, actually. The only downside being that after they had a meeting, they would have to address the rest of the team with something. Kei and Hinata definitely knew they were bullshitting, but they felt it was necessary to not let the other team members catch onto that.

“Hey guys!” Tadashi started, trying to get the attention of the rest of his team, “We just wanted to say thanks to all of you for being such a great team! Our first year at Karasuno was a pretty crazy year. Kageyama knew he wanted to be a serious player, and him and Hinata motivated our whole team to work hard and regain the reputation we had back in the day. But the team was never just about those two, no matter how great they are! At the end of that first year, we were all terrified that the chemistry of the team would completely fall apart, but it didn’t! So, yeah, I guess, thanks for putting your everything into practice. You’re a great team, and we’re so glad to play with such amazing players.”

Kageyama lead the team in a cheer. Tadashi just hoped that the team understood how great they were. Kei, who was standing across the room from him, definitely understood his love for the team, and probably Hinata and Kageyama too. Either way, Tadashi was just happy he could be there, in that moment. As much as he was excited for the party in Tokyo next week, there was something comforting of this gathering, and knowing his place was secure and important. Yeah. It was definitely nice to remember that.

Kei was very pretty. This wasn’t something that Tadashi found particularly shocking. He knew a lot of people who’d liked him over the years. When he was dating Kuroo, Tadashi’s Instagram stories were constantly flooded by overwhelming praise for Kei’s face. Still, despite Kei’s attractiveness being widely recognized, it never made his face boring. He was pale, but not in an unsettling way. He certainly looked healthy. His face was long, and his nose slightly crooked, in a way which gave his face character. His eyebrows were pretty dark when compared to his hair, which was not too blonde, but remained striking to see in Miyagi. His whole face was slender, accenting his cheekbones. The rest of his body was tall and lanky and sometimes it seemed like Kei himself didn’t quite know what to do with his body while in chairs. Despite looking pretty thin, Kei was also very athletic, and it showed in his arms and legs, which were nicely toned.

The two of them were in Kei’s room, reading quietly. Well, Tadashi wasn’t so much reading as he was staring at a page in his book and getting caught up in his own thoughts. Kei was reading a book about snakes in preparation for his upcoming adoption. Tadashi was sleeping over so they could leave for Tokyo as soon as Hinata and Kageyama arrived at Kei’s house the next morning. He was nervous for their trip. Mainly he didn’t want Kei feeling uncomfortable at the party. More than that though, he just really didn’t want to get caught up in any weird drama. Hinata and Kageyama were friends with a bunch of the people who were going to be there, and Kei and Tadashi had a very weird relationship with all of Kuroo’s old friends. He knew it was going to be a good time. Even if the party would be awkward, going to Tokyo with his best friends would be fun no matter what.

“Are you okay?” Kei asked.

“Yeah, I’m good” Tadashi answered.

“You’re not actually reading”

“I have a book! That counts as reading!”

“Tell that to Hinata next time you help him study” Kei said, earning a chuckle from Tadashi.

“I’m just a little distracted. Go back to training yourself to be the ultimate snake daddy”

“Please don’t refer to me as a snake daddy”

“I’m proud of you, actually. You’ve been out for years and have never even mentioned Britney Spears before. Finally acknowledging the impact she’s had on you in your personal growth and development is great. Either that or you’re becoming a weird snake straight boy which you really shouldn’t do because you’d have to start smoking at least ten more cigarettes per day which may actually affect your ability to play and Kageyama would probably kill you if he lost his best blocker. On the plus side you are nowhere near as douchey as that type of straight boy so maybe girls will stop hitting on you and you’ll be able to date someone who doesn’t just happen to be another gay boy cause I think that’d do you some good. But that doesn’t matter Kei, I’m just happy that Britney is having an equal impact on you as me. And on that note I would love to get some new clothes while we’re in Tok-“

“Shut up, Tadashi,” Kei interrupted, “And I’ve never heard a straight boy talk about the influence Britney Spears has had on the gay community before, so I really think this whole thing says more about me than you.”

“Maybe I’m not a straight boy, then” Tadashi said, without thinking.

“Really?” Kei said. He was looking at Tadashi. He was leaned against his bedroom door, while Tadashi was leaned against the bed.

“I’ve never been especially into girls” Tadashi said, “I think I’m equally not especially into boys”.

“Yeah?,” Kei said, smiling.

“It’s not like it’s something I’ve ever brought that much attention to. But I mean I’ve never really dated a girl for very long, but I know they’re pretty. But I think boys are also really pretty. I don’t know. I’m sorry this sounds so stupid I don’t even know what I’m talking about and that just came out but it felt like the right thing to say and I don’t even know why I’m panicking because you’re gay and you’re my best friend and I know you’re not going to be upset about this I’ve just never thought about it before and I just said it and it feels weird and I can’t tell if it is weird but it might be and I don’t know I’m really sorry and-“

“It’s okay” Kei said, “I never thought about it that much either. I just realized one day that I didn’t get crushes on girls, but I did get them on boys. It’s okay, Tadashi”

“Okay”, Tadashi said, taking in a breath the way he would to calm himself down before a new serve at a game, “Thanks”.

“Plus, it definitely explains the Britney Spears thing” Kei said, smiling at him.

Tadashi still had not quite processed what he’d just told Kei, but it was okay. Kei told him it was okay, so he knew it was.

“Do you want a smoke?” Kei asked.

“Yeah, that sounds perfect” Tadashi said, standing up to get to the balcony in Kei’s room.

It was a little cool outside, but not cold enough where Tadashi needed a jacket. It was comfortable, especially during the summer. Kei joined Tadashi outside after a moment, having grabbed his cigarettes and lighter. The way he lit his cigarettes was different from the way most people did it. He placed the cigarette between his lips, and often struggled with the lighter at first, lighting it away from his mouth. Once he had it lit, he covered the flame and brought it over to the smoke. He never inhaled deeply either. Tadashi figured it might be to prevent coughing. It was kind of weird, and unique, but not in a bad way. It was just different.

“I’m not the most excited about this party,” Kei said, “But you knew that already”.

“He’s not a bad guy” Tadashi said.

“I know. But we dated for almost a year”.

“I know. We’ll be able to leave whenever we want. But you’re the one who promised to take me to fun things this year, and I’m holding you to that,” Tadashi said, taking the smoke from Kei.

“Yeah. Being in Tokyo will be nice. We haven’t been there in a while”

“We haven’t. And our apartment is in a nice location. Plus, they have restaurants open past 11pm so if worse comes to worst we can get ramen and cry about how we’re going to be single forever”.

“You won’t be single forever.” Kei said, “I won’t be, either. It’s just weird. But you’re right. I think growing up as a rural boy has deprived me of the inalienable right to get food at 2am when I’ve been studying all night”

“Studying?” Tadashi chuckled, “You and I both know that you study enough during the day”.

“It might be more reading Wikipedia articles on different types of animals. I think that should count as studying”

“Are you going to do biology in university?”

“I might. Honestly I’ve been putting off thinking about it as long as possible”.

“Yeah, me too. You should do animal science or something. You know a lot about animals”.

“I wouldn’t call myself an animal person. I certainly don’t want to be a vet.”

“You don’t think you’re an animal person because you don’t like mammals. But you could name more facts about frogs than anyone else I know could name anything about anything”.

“That’s not untrue”, Kei said, taking back the cigarette.

“I want to study at a major university, I think”, Tadashi started, “My grades are pretty good, and the volleyball team will definitely reflect positively on my applications”.

“You should”.

“Will you?” 

“I don’t know. I like it here. I like being somewhere that I know. I don’t like surprises, or change, really.”

“That’s not true”, Tadashi said almost instinctively, earning a sharp look from his friend, “You’ve changed the most out of anyone I know. You’ve always been quiet and brooding but you also used to be a major asshole, which you aren’t anymore”.

“I guess I was,” Kei said, “Although are you really going to tell me the two idiots would be even remotely mature today if I hadn’t ruthlessly made fun of them when we met?”

“That was a good call, for sure.” The two of them chuckled.

“You’ve changed a lot, too”, Kei said.

“I know that. I’m the one trying to convince you to get out of this town.”

“You’re convincing me, now?”

“Yes!”

“Okay, okay, try me.”

“Well, you’re really smart, and good at things when you apply yourself. You could definitely get into those universities, and they would give you more opportunities for your career in the future. Actually, now that I think about it it’s ridiculous that you’re not killing yourself trying to get into those types of schools. They seem perfect for you.”

“They do. But, well, I don’t know. I used to want to get out of this shithole, find something new, and fresh, and do something that isn’t so quaint, or boring, or whatever. But recently I like what I’m doing. I like playing volleyball, and I like my friends, and I like being able to walk down the street and have it be more special to me than it is to someone halfway across the world.”

“You’ve gone soft, Kei”.

“Don’t pretend you have nothing to do with it”.

“Do I?”

“I think I’d likely still be a major asshole without you”.

“I certainly wouldn’t want to leave Miyagi without you”.

“Without me as in, without my influence? Or as in without me there with you?”

“You flatter yourself”, Tadashi said, trying to keep his gaze away from Kei, “although I would not be opposed to you coming with me.”

“When you figure it out, just let me know which schools I should apply to”.

“Are you serious?”

“Probably”.

“I don’t think that’s how you should make your decisions. All the university guidance people make it very clear that you should understand what your priorities are when choosing a school”.

“It’s bullshit! They always say that to try to scare you away from choosing a school for the wrong reason, as if there’s a formulaic way to do this. I’ve known that school matters to me a lot ever since I was a little kid. I’ve only understood that people can be important recently. If I was going to choose a school for the wrong reason, following you out to wherever you go certainly would not be that reason.” Kei said, before taking a long inhale of the cigarette and passing it back.

“I can’t lie, that sounds pretty gay”.

“You came out like ten minutes ago, and already you’ve made more gay jokes than I think I ever have”, Kei said, smiling wide.

“I think I have a talent for it”.

“I think you do”.

They were looking at snakes online, trying to figure out what kind Kei should get. They were both pretty certain that a ball python would be best. They weren’t high maintenance, they’re a nice size, and they came in lots of different colours and patterns. Tokyo had some great pet stores, so they decided that when they were in the city they’d buy everything they would need for the snake’s enclosure.

Hinata had already sent them a bunch of places he wanted to go while they were in the city, but they figured Kageyama wouldn’t mind going with Hinata alone to a couple of them. Plus, Tokyo was a big city and the few places Hinata insisted they should go were all in completely different ends of the city, and given they were only going for four days, it definitely was not realistic that they would be able to go to even half of them. So they didn’t exactly feel bad about already planning around Hinata’s interests. At this point, their biggest concern wasn’t really about being able to make it to the store in Tokyo, but rather about being able to carry everything they needed home, considering the train they were taking was the cheapest option they could find and thus didn’t have a lot of space for delicately storing their items. Still, it was much better to get the necessities in Tokyo instead of relying that the retailers near them would have what they needed. They rarely did.

Tadashi was excited about the snake. He knew Kei would love it, and whenever Kei was passionate about something he glowed when he talked about it. When it came to volleyball, even though Kei was passionate about it, he never met the enthusiasm levels of his friends to the point where he stood out as a passionate person. Considering that’s where he focused most of his time apart from classes, Kei got a little emotionally bland sometimes, especially around high stress times in school or during the season. This snake would ensure that Kei had something to be passionate about year round. Plus, Kei enjoyed routine. Having a snake to take care of would give him some consistency in his life at home. Tadashi was very excited to see that happen.

Apart from the snake, though, Tadashi was excited about his relationship with Kei in general. They’d always been best friends, ever since they met, but recently it was different. During their first year of high school they both changed and matured a lot. When they got to the point where neither of them were held back emotionally anymore, they got a lot closer with each other and with the other people around them. But recently it was like that was happening again, though Tadashi wasn’t quite sure what the reason for that was. But they understood each other on a certain level. Kei could always tell when Tadashi needed a change of scene, or just a break from whatever it was he was doing. And Tadashi could understand when Kei was feeling emotional or in need of comfort. It was nice.

Even now, as they were looking up information about snake enclosures, it was like the snake was going to be both of theirs. On a certain level it was, because they spent so much time together. But this closeness was different. It wasn’t about the time they spent together. It was about the fact that they were both mature and developed enough to recognize themselves as being there for each other. Being there for each other, not just when they needed it most, but also when they didn’t. Tadashi liked this development, a lot. Kei was special to him. They were _best_ friends, and that distinction wasn’t only there because they’d known each other for a while, or because they spent time together. It was there because they cared about each other, even when neither of them particularly needed to be cared for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello!  
> i will b updating this soon i just have to finish school (hopefully within the next week!) and then this will be my main priority/updated more often!  
> as a sidenote, thank u sm for reading this, it's amazing that people actually like it????  
> i haven't written fic/fiction before really other than scripts??? so i'm doing my best, and i'm so glad that people actually like it!  
> xx


	4. A Night in Tokyo

Tokyo was a great city. Back when Kei was dating Kuroo, Tadashi would sometimes come up with him to visit. The city was big, and exciting, and had everything you could possibly want from a city. He wouldn’t spend time with them, really. He’d just walk around the city and find cool shops or parks. Tadashi liked crowded places. In places with a limited amount of people, there would be reason for people to focus on him specifically. He worried about what they thought about him or what he could do to fit in more. But in crowded places, in downtown Tokyo, he could be whoever he wanted to be, and no one would know. Sure, they might guess that he’s just a high school student, but he could pretend in his brain that he owned his own restaurant shop and made the best homemade noodles in all of Tokyo, and they couldn’t for certain say that he was lying.

Right now, they were seated in a small udon shop, just outside of Shibuya station. It was in an alley, so the passerby weren’t as busy as those on the main road. They’d been seated there almost an hour at this point, but the shop owner didn’t seem to mind, and it wasn’t as though there weren’t any other free spots in the restaurant.

“The apartment is really nice, Tsukishima”, Hinata said.

“We were lucky to find it”, Kei said, “It’s pretty cheap, and it’s actually surprisingly fitting for four people”.

The four of them were all sleeping in the same room on futons, but it was comfortable enough for a last minute Tokyo apartment.

“I wouldn’t say fitting”, Kageyama said, “I mean good on you for finding it, but the two of you are such drama queens I can’t imagine this arrangement would work for more than four days”, he continued, gesturing at Hinata and Kei.

“You’re the biggest drama queen here!”, Hinata said, “Remember that one time you ignored me for like a week because you grew an inch and your sets were wrong!”

“I actually couldn’t hit those either”, Kei said, more to piss Kageyama off than anything else.

“You missed two spikes in practice and got all pissy about it! You’re definitely a bigger drama queen” Kageyama said, defensively.

“I actually agree with Hinata on this one,” Kei said.

“I’m not the one who constantly talks about how learning to block a ball right changed my whole personality!” Kageyama said.

“You _are_ the person who talks about how learning to set a ball right changed your entire personality, though,” Kei quipped.

“That’s different!”

“It’s literally the same thing”

“Yamaguchi, anything to contribute?”

“I think that Tsukki had the biggest drama queen phase, but Kageyama is consistently a bigger drama queen” Tadashi said.

“I agree with that” Hinata said.

“I’ll take it” Kei said, leaving Kageyama defeated.

Kei and Tadashi were about a block away from the party. Hinata and Kageyama went a while ago, as per invitation from Kenma. Tadashi had about ten excited texts from Hinata letting him know everyone who was already there. It was overwhelming, actually. Kei wasn’t a particularly anxious person. He never had been, as long as Tadashi had known him. He didn’t really like people, and didn’t care what they thought of him. He said what was on his mind. For Tadashi, that was the most terrifying thing in the entire world. Tadashi vaguely knew everyone at this party, and the idea that he could be recognizable to any of them and they could form opinions about him based on that was a lot more terrifying to him than anything else he could imagine. Even so, this was one of the only social events Tadashi had attended where Kei was more nervous than him.

The apartment building they found themselves at was pretty small, and Tadashi immediately felt bad about going to an apartment like this for a party. They were underage, and they would probably get noise complaints, and it wouldn’t end up well. Kei opened the door, hesitantly. Neither of them were particularly keen on even being here. Tadashi was committed, though. He wanted to be able to be comfortable in a situation like this, he just wasn’t.

“The apartment’s on the second floor”, Kei said, gesturing towards the stairs.

“Oh, right”, Tadashi said, realizing he was inside the door.

“We don’t have to go if you don’t want to”.

“I want to, it’s just-“.

“I know” Kei said, entering the stairwell.

They walked quietly up the stairs. The further he walked up the stairs, the more Tadashi could hear yelling and one large crashing noise. It definitely wasn’t unprecedented for this group of people to break something, but that didn’t make it any less shocking. When they got to the top of the stairs, they easily found the right apartment by sound alone.

They stood outside of the apartment for a moment. Tadashi didn’t want to open the door to the party filled with the most intimidating people from his high school years, but he didn’t want to make Kei do it either. Kei was looking at him. It wasn’t expectant of anything, but rather in mutual understanding that it was definitely weird that they were both here.

Tadashi had spent most of his teenage years unable to enjoy things because he couldn’t help but worry what people might think of him. It was weird, actually, because Tadashi wasn’t scared of people hating him. He sort of just assumed that everyone hated him. It made it especially hard for him to talk to people, because he didn’t try to make people like him. Instead, he was just always himself, whatever himself was. Unlike Kei, though, his natural disposition was not one which really allowed him to be dismissive about other people’s opinions of him. He spent most of his childhood idealizing Kei for that reason. It was ridiculous, thinking about it. But it was okay because every day of his life since elementary school he woke up and talked to Kei and never seemed to think that he hated him.

None of that mattered now, though. The issue wasn’t Kei. It was the fact that they were about to enter a social situation and for possibly the first time, it wasn’t obvious who should open the door. They both knew that. Tadashi knew Kei didn’t want to make him do it. But Tadashi didn’t want to have to make Kei do it, either. It wasn’t an uncomfortable silence, really. Kei was looking at him. It wasn’t judgmental. They could both hear the noises from the party inside. It was peaceful, in a way. The calm before the storm, Tadashi thought.

Tadashi’s phone buzzed, a message from Hinata asking where they were. He texted him back to let him know they were outside, and within thirty seconds the door was opened for them.

“Yams! Finally, you guys are here! Come here!” Hinata said, a little too excitedly, sweeping the three of them inside.

The apartment wasn’t all the busy. There were a few people Tadashi didn’t recognize, but overall he knew mostly everyone. He saw Kageyama in a conversation with Oikawa, in the far corner of the room they walked into. He had a beer in hand and looked a little less composed than normal. Immediately he noticed Kuroo in a conversation with Bokuto. The two of them didn’t seem to notice Kei and Tadashi’s entrance, but Tadashi felt a pang in his gut nonetheless. Looking around, he also spotted some other familiar faces like Akaashi and Kenma. Most surprisingly, Daichi and Suga were both here.

Hinata lead them to the pile of beers and handed them one each.

“I’m pretty sure I’ve had a terrifying encounter before a game with every single person in this room” Hinata said.

“Having this many people all together is a terrifying encounter in itself”, Tadashi said, only half-jokingly.

“Kageyama saw Oikawa and immediately downed two beers, so you guys should watch out for him”, Hinata told them.

“My only relationship with either of you is making sure you don’t die at any given moment”, Kei said.

“You’re still my rival, Tsukkishima.” Hinata declared.

“If that’s the case I think you beat me at whatever competition we’re in years ago”

“No! You’re so good. Plus, you’re so much taller so even if I am better than you you’re still my rival!”

“We both know you’re worlds better than me. If you were my height you’d be too good, it would be scary”

“I don’t care how nice you are to me, so long as we play the same position you’re my rival”, Hinata said, crouching down slightly, the way he did when he got excited.

“The fact that you would even consider that I’m nice enough to you to have it override anything is terrifying”, Kei told him.

“I think it’s more that he’s still not used to you being nice to him at all,” a deep voice came from behind Tadashi, “few of us ever are”. It was Kuroo. He quickly inserted himself into their circle. Funnily enough, Kei did not look nearly as terrified as Tadashi expected, which in turn made Tadashi feel a lot less on edge.

“Oh, Tetsurou,” Kei started. Tadashi noted the use of his first name. “Could you give shrimpy a piggy back”.

Kuroo agreed, and let Hinata climb on his back. They both looked a little confused, but neither of them were people who would say no to piggy back rides. Hinata practically jumped onto Kuroo’s back. After a moment of adjusting themselves to a proper position, Kuroo stood up straight, and Hinata’s head was about a foot above anyone else’s.

“See? Now you’re taller than me, so you don’t have to worry about my height anymore,” Kei told Hinata, who’s chin was sitting on the top of Kuroo’s head.

The four of them in the circle chuckled. It was cute. And Hinata always enjoyed seeming taller than other people.

“Actually, Kei,” Kuroo said, after a brief moment, “I was wondering if I could talk to you. Just to-“

“Sure.” Kei interrupted.

Kuroo motioned over to a room down the hall, presumably a bedroom or a bathroom. Kei stood standing, not following him quite yet. Tadashi reached over and squeezed Kei’s arm, and he seemed to regain his confidence. He walked out of the room.

Hinata left, after a moment, being called over by Kenma. Tadashi was alone. He couldn’t go talk to Kageyama because he was with Oikawa and Tadashi couldn’t insert himself in a conversation with someone that intimidating to him. In lieu of making conversation with anyone, Tadashi decided to busy himself by taking a drink. Kageyama seemed a lot more talkative that usual. In the few minutes they’d been here, he’d only been talking to one person, and that person was not either Hinata, Tadashi or Kei, and he didn’t seem all that uncomfortable. It was nice to see, but also a little concerning, considering Kageyama wasn’t usually like that, and he had a lot going on right now that could easily lead him to spending the night trying to forget about everything. Tadashi decided that keeping an eye on him would be incredibly important, right now.

Other than that, though, Tadashi didn’t know what to do. He was standing in the small kitchen, peering over the drinks for a while. He didn’t want to go talk to anyone. He’d actually grown pretty close to Suga in his first year, as they’d spent a lot of time together talking during games. He wasn’t sure if that meant it would be okay for him to go talk to him, though. It probably would be, but if it wasn’t he might make a fool out of himself and forever have all the good memories that they had together tainted by this one bad one.

So Tadashi decided to have a drink. He was drinking it alone, though, so it went down quick. And so he grabbed another. After the third one, he felt a little more grounded, weirdly. He still hadn’t really talked to anyone, except for a few words to people coming through the kitchen. After the fourth one, grounded started to apply less to his state of mind. He saw people he knew, and finally felt okay enough to talk to them. He thought, for a moment, that maybe having four drinks before feeling comfortable talking to people he’d known for years wasn’t healthy. But he was a little bit drunk, and it was nice.

He made his way over to the main room, where he could vaguely see people dancing. He found Suga, who encouraged him to dance. Tadashi wouldn’t normally dance at something like this, but it seemed fun. He danced with Suga for a little bit, until he noticed Kei and Kuroo leaving the room they’d been in.

“Tsukki!” Tadashi called, “Come dance with me!”

Kei looked over at Tadashi, but didn’t walk over to him. Instead, he gestured towards the bathroom. Tadashi started following him so he could check in, when Kuroo appeared before him.

“Don’t worry, I don’t think I traumatized him too much”, Kuroo told Tadashi.

“That’s good, at least”, Tadashi replied, not really knowing how to talk to Kuroo.

“You’re way too good for him, you know”, Kuroo said, rather definitively.

“What do you mean?”.

“He’s a good person, but you’re a lot better”.

“Maybe,” Tadashi started, unsure of what Kuroo wanted him to say, “I’ve known him to long to pretend he’s not the reason I’m like this”.

“He’s the same”.

“I know”.

“After we broke up I always wondered if you would come into the picture”, Kuroo said, confusing Tadashi further.

“What?”, Tadashi asked.

“You were always there, when we were together”, Kuroo started, “it’s not a bad thing. I always liked you, and I don’t think that he would ever have agreed to go out with me if it weren’t for you. But after we broke up, I’ve always wondered if maybe you two would get together.”

“We haven’t”, Tadashi said, still tentative about how he should talk to Kuroo.

“I’m not so sure”, Kuroo said, like it was nothing, “Either way, I’m glad he has you”.

“I’m glad he had you too, back then”, Tadashi said.

“Me too. But you’ve always done more for him than I ever did”.

“That’s not true. He needed you to help him get into things, and be motivated by things, and you cared a lot about him, which he needed from someone”, Tadashi said.

“Someone other than you,” Kuroo said, without missing a beat. “It’s not a bad thing. I needed him too, back then. And I’m glad we were together, for a while. But I’ve moved on, and he has too, and right now, I’m glad he has you. You care about him, and he needs that”.

Kuroo stayed there, standing next to him. Tadashi didn’t know what to do. He didn’t know if he should move or if he should say something else or if everything was okay or if that whole conversation even happened in the way Tadashi processed it, or even if the conversation was over. Kuroo had always been a weird guy. But that, especially confused Tadashi. It’s not like no one had ever suggested the idea of Tadashi and Kei together, lots of people had. It was different with Kuroo, though. He was the only person who knew Kei as well as Tadashi, and he was the only person who ever knew Kei in an intimate way. Hearing that from him, seriously, confused Tadashi. He didn’t seem bitter, or upset about it. He just seemed to accept it. He’d mentioned it casually, in a way that didn’t leave Tadashi much room to actually say or do anything about it. Kuroo knew Kei in a way that even Tadashi didn’t, and so not once, when it came to a conversation about him, Tadashi wasn’t the one who held the most authority.

He felt Kuroo’s hand on his back, patting him. It was comforting, for sure. But it didn’t help the uneasiness that Tadashi felt after talking to him.

He saw Kei leave the bathroom a moment later. He walked up next to him.

“Do you want a smoke?”, Kei asked, gesturing to the balcony.

“Yeah, definitely”, Tadashi said.

They walked over to the balcony, Tadashi paying extra attention to the ground, so he wouldn’t trip over anyone’s legs. He wasn’t aware of exactly what was going on around him.

“Glasses, I wouldn’t have thought you were a smoker!” a voice, unmistakably Oikawa’s, said.

“I wouldn’t have guessed you would think of me at all”, Kei said in reply. Tadashi looked behind him, and found Aoba Josai’s former setter and ace standing behind Kei.

“Tobio-chan is still on your team so I spend a lot of time thinking about you guys, actually”, Oikawa said, “You’ve gotten really good. You too, vice-captain.”

“Oi, these guys beat us in their first year of high school. Don’t sound so cocky”, Iwaizumi told him, hitting him on the side of the head.

“Iwa-chan! I’m not cocky! I’m proud, actually”, Oikawa said, “anyways, don’t let us disturb you, we just wanted some fresh air!”

Kei pushed Tadashi over, a little, so they were standing close together in the corner of the balcony. He took a long drag of the cigarette before handing it to Tadashi, who took it, slowly, waiting for Kei to settle in a position.

“Are you okay?” Tadashi asked.

“I’m fine”, Kei replied. “Famous last words, I know. But I’m fine.”

“Okay. If you want to go, we can”.

“We just got here. And I have a feeling we’re going to have to take the idiots back so they don’t get lost in Tokyo and die”.

Tadashi looked back inside the apartment. They were arguing, but they looked happy. Neither of them could be trusted to go most places alone at night, even when sober, so Tadashi was inclined to agree with Kei. Plus, although Kei wouldn’t say it, they were both still pretty concerned for Kageyama. With the pressure of his parents’ divorce, and having just talked to Oikawa, and after having drunk a lot, it was probably best they help Hinata handle him later.

“Oikawa, you were talking to Kageyama earlier, right?” Kei said, voicing what Tadashi had wanted to ask.

“Yep! He was a bit of a mess, though. It was like talking to a person I didn’t even know. I think I could actually be friends with that guy,” Oikawa said.

“Did he seem okay? We just want to make sure he’s not going to implode. I’m sure you know what I mean”, Tadashi said.

“Tobio-chan seemed more normal than usual! I think you should definitely be worried”.

Kei sighed, and turned away from Oikawa, leaning into Tadashi. Tadashi took a long drag of the cigarette, before putting it in Kei’s mouth.

“It’s weird that this is our life”, Tadashi said, “We’re in Tokyo! Somehow you were in the longest relationship out of everyone I know, which is also weird. And you’re going to make me spiderman, somehow. I still don’t really know what that means but I’m looking forward to it. And other than you my best friends are Hinata and Kageyama, which is also weird, because they really only do volleyball. And also somehow we’re both important volleyball players on an important team and everything is just-“

“Shut up, Tadashi.” Kei said, smiling.

Tadashi giggled. “Sorry, Kei”.

With Oikawa and Iwaizumi so close, neither Kei nor Tadashi had much to say. Instead, they just stood there, finishing their smoke. They overlooked Tokyo. It was busy, and there were lots of lights. It was different from what Tadashi was used to, but it held its’ own sort of beauty. Tadashi could imagine the type of life he could live here, even if it were just for a few years. He figured Kei was thinking the same thing.

Eventually, they finished their smoke and headed inside. Tadashi found himself immediately approached by Hinata, who waved Kei away.

“Yams! My buddy! Can I talk to you?” Hinata said, oddly quietly.

“Of course Shouyou,” Tadashi answered.

“Tobio is being so weird tonight,” he said.

“He’s just a little drunk”

“Yeah, but he’s being really talkative! Like how most people are!” Hinata said, seemingly unsure if that’s what he actually wanted to say.

“If you’re concerned about how he’s acting shouldn’t you be with him?”

“I’m just confused because he’s not usually like this with me.”

“That’s not a bad thing, is it?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, he’s clearly not acting like himself right now, but he usually is himself with you.”

Hinata’s eyes lit up in the way they do when he gets a little too excited by something seemingly obvious. “You’re right! I know Kageyama the best and alcohol can’t replace that.”

“That’s the spirit,” Tadashi said. Hinata started to turn around to go back to Kageyama, but Tadashi grabbed his wrist before he could get very far. “Hinata? Are you in love with Kageyema?”

Hinata’s body stopped moving. He looked over at Tadashi to see if he was joking, but he could clearly tell that he wasn’t. He looked down thoughtfully for a few seconds. “Ever since the start of high school he’s just always been there”, Hinata said, “You know? At first it was just volleyball, which wasn’t something small. And it was amazing! Together we brought out the best in each other. And then he would come to my house on weekends and he would talk to my sister and my parents and he would smile and it was like we were discovering our quick all over again. It’s just been constant since then. He’s the first person I say hello to in the morning and the last person I say goodnight to and he’s there for most of the rest of it too and I have no idea what it means to fall in love but I have that person in my life who is just mine and I wouldn’t trade that for anything, ever”.

“I think I know what you mean” Tadashi said. Seeing Kageyama and Hinata throughout the years, it was hard not to know what he meant. But also, hearing Hinata say that, Tadashi understood what Kuroo meant.

Kageyama was drunk. A lot more drunk than anyone else.

“WOAH! You’re here!” Kageyama said to Hinata.

“I am”, Hinata told him.

“Hinata there’s so many people here! Did you know Oikawa is here! I went to middle school with that guy”, Kageyama slurred.

“I know, Kageyama”, Hinata said, half laughing, and half trying to get him to calm down.

“Akaashi’s here! Remember when you got to practice with him in first year? Tsukkishima did too! That was so annoying!”, Kageyama told him. By now, people were starting to notice his uncharacteristic yelling. Akaashi turned his head at the mention of his name.

“I was so excited about that”, Hinata said.

“I know, it was annoying.” Kageyama said.

“I practice more with you though”, Hinata said.

“That’s so cool, I like that.”

“Well I like it when you’re able to stand properly!”

Tadashi took that as a cue to help Kageyama stand up. He was insisting that he was fine, but he’d always been stubborn like that. Kei took him by his other side and started helping him walk, while Hinata continued talking to him. They decided to leave, and get some food.

They eventually found themselves at a McDonalds. Hinata ordered food for Kageyama, but got the other three fries. It was late, and they were all still a little bit drunk. They were trying to keep it down, though it wouldn’t have mattered very much as it seemed the only people there were drunk university students.

“I honestly think that no food in the entire world will ever compare to slightly soggy fries at three in the morning”, Tadashi said, holding a fry in front of his face for much longer than he should have.

“Hinata you’re a godsend”, Kageyama said quietly, shoveling his chicken nuggets into his mouth.

The four of them sat there for a while, not saying much. They were all still a little bit drunk, and incredibly hungry. Kageyama had calmed down quite a bit, but was starting to get tired. He kept almost falling asleep and then jolting back to reality. Usually, it would be something Kei would make a joke about, but he barely seemed to register it at all. They didn’t say much. When they did it was loud and obnoxious, but they were all tired and hungry and didn’t need to say anything.

Tadashi was happy. He’d had a good night, overall. Despite his bouts of anxiety now and then, it had been fun. He hadn’t gotten Kei to dance, throughout it all, which was expected. But aside from that, he’d had fun.

After a while, Hinata and Kageyama went back to the apartment. Kageyama was nearly asleep by then, so Hinata figured it would be best to take him back. Tadashi and Kei stayed in the McDonalds for a few minutes, before slowly deciding to walk back to the apartment.

It was busy outside. The lights from stores and advertisements made it so that Tadashi could barely tell it was night. They walked quietly for a few blocks. As they walked, it got less and less busy the closer they got to their apartment. After about twenty minutes they found themselves outside of their apartment complex.

The street was completely quiet. Despite being only a few blocks away from some of the busiest places on earth, the street was silent, the way streets were in Miyagi. It was different from home, for sure. There were more vending machines around, all of the housing they could see were apartments, and there were more stores and restaurants on the ends of the block. The cicadas were buzzing loud. Tadashi was still a little bit drunk, not quite processing everything around him in real time. It was a quiet buzz though. He felt peaceful. But he was still energetic the way he had been at the party, and he didn’t want to go upstairs just yet.

Kei looked really nice right now. A combination of the streetlights and the bright moonlight made his skin glow. His hair was a little bit messy and his cheeks were tinted slightly pink from the alcohol. His face was incredibly unique. His features looked sharp at a quick glance, but really they were soft when Tadashi saw them like this. He was tall, like he always was, but right now especially it was extra noticeable. From Tadashi’s slightly lower angle, he noticed the shadows on Kei’s face under his eyes, nose and cheek. It looked really, really cool.

Most importantly though, it was Kei. Tsukki. Tadashi thought it was weird that right now they were in the middle of Tokyo, one of the busiest cities in the entire world, yet he felt that they were the only two who existed. It always felt like that with him. But right now, especially. Tadashi felt good, after the party. Most of the people he talked to tonight reminded him of his first year of high school. He was always anxious back then. Tsukki was the only person who ever made him feel okay. The only times he felt like his heartrate wasn’t abnormally high was when they were together. Tadashi didn’t feel that way anymore, constantly. Still, no matter how much he’d changed, the comfort that Kei brought him was as present now as it had ever been. 

“Kei, will you dance with me?” he asked.

“Huh?” Kei replied, turning his head so he was looking straight at Tadashi.

“Dance with me Tsukki!” Tadashi almost squealed, before quickly covering his mouth. “Oh, sorry Tsukki”.

“Here?” Kei asked, almost hesitantly.

“Yes! There’s no one else around! Dance with me!”.

“Okay”, he replied slowly.

Kei straightened out his body so he was standing directly in front of Tadashi, before taking a step forward. Tadashi felt Kei grab his left hand, picking it up from where it had been next to his thigh. Then, slowly, Kei put his other hand on Tadashi’s lower back, and pulled him in closely. Tadashi reached up to put his hand on Kei’s shoulder, but he missed and instead found a place on his waist. He moved it around for a few seconds, until he found a place where it could rest comfortably. Their bodies were close together. Their shoulders were touching, a little, and their hands were firm on each other’s backs. Every single spot on Tadashi’s body where Kei was touching felt like a weird combination of hot and cold. He felt the surprise and shock that coolness brought, mixed with the familiarity and comfort of warmth.

Tadashi took a step forward with his left foot, but was careful not to step on Kei’s feet. Kei followed his footing and took a step back. Tadashi stepped his other foot to the side, and brought the first one in so they were together again. Then, he started again, with his right foot this time. Kei followed him. It was messy. Neither of them really knew how to dance. Tadashi learned, once, for a girl he’d liked at the time. But right now, it was a lot nicer than when he’d tried to use it with her. This time, it was definitely messier, as both of them were drunk and not exactly ready to do any fine footwork. But this time he knew for sure that no matter what he did he wasn’t going to mess it up.

It was slow, but steady. They got into a rhythm with it, like they always did. Tadashi let his head drop onto Kei’s shoulder. He could hear Kei’s breathing next to his ear. He could feel his smile at the side of his head. Tadashi smiled too.

They stayed like that for a while. Every once in a while one of them would make a wrong step, and they would separate for a moment, just long enough to find their feet, and then they’d find each other again. There wasn’t any music playing. They heard cicadas, and the occasional car going by. Other than that, though, all Tadashi could hear was Kei’s breathing, and his own heartrate, loud as ever.

Tadashi thought about Kei. He thought about what Kuroo said, and what Hinata said. Kei had always been there. Tadashi’s life before they met was nothing. Kei had brought him the courage to do things we wanted to do, things he was interested in. He let Tadashi talk about everything and nothing whenever he wanted to. And he was always nice to him, even if others didn’t think so. Tadashi loved him so much. More than he understood, even. When they were together, everything was okay. Every single place Tadashi had ever been in his entire life gave him some type of discomfort. Tadashi loved going out and doing things and meeting people, but it terrified him more than anything in the entire world. Kei made sure that the world wasn’t so scary.

Here he was, with Kei, dancing in the middle of the street. There was a part of Tadashi that wanted to stop and tell Kei everything he was thinking. But the moment right now was too nice to try to change anything about it. Instead, he pulled him a little bit closer. Kei did the same.

“This is nice”, Kei said, with a whisper.

“It’s perfect”, Tadashi told him, as quietly as he could. He felt Kei’s smile push into his cheek. He squeezed Tadashi’s hand.

“You’re perfect”, Kei said. Tadashi froze, for a moment, messing up their dancing. Instead of stepping apart to straighten it out, Kei just rubbed Tadashi’s back, calming him down. Soon enough, Tadashi pulled himself into Kei again, and started their dancing once more.

Tadashi was happy, like this. Kei called him perfect. He was pretty sure Kei was perfect too. Perfect with him, at least. Tadashi wasn’t thinking about a lot, right now. He was still drunk enough that his brain couldn’t overthink. He just let himself be happy with Kei. He wanted to remember this. He wanted to remember how perfect his life had become. Soon, things would be different. School would start up again, and they’d have to worry about getting into university and volleyball. But right now they just had to worry about each other.

“I’m going to make you Spiderman, by the way”, Kei told him.

“Oh yeah?”, Tadashi said, looking up at the side of Kei’s face.

“I’ve almost figured it out”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI this has taken so long this chapter is kinda wonky lmao i had so many ideas and i was not able to fit all of them in but ALAS!!! this fic is not abandoned!! i'm almost done w my midterms so i'll try to post the next chapter within the next few weeks!!! i also have another tsukiyama and kagehina fic i'm kinda working on!! and another fic as well that is not hq!! anyways thank you so much for reading this it means a lot! please comment and let me know ur thoughts! it is greatly appreciated!!!

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! Thank you so much for reading. This is my first time writing fiction that isn't a script since I was 13, and I'm having a lot of fun with it. Please let me know your thoughts! I am excited for people to read it, as I've pretty much accidentally written this in the last little bit while suffering from insomnia, so this fic has really been helping me process that!!  
> Thanks again for reading!  
> Cheers!


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